Eastendgirl thank you  xxx

You're welcome xx

Thinking of you James4000 and tangoPotter ... hope you get a call re the MDT meeting  with an appointment to see the Consultant soon... it's very difficult not to 'think ahead' but it causes so much stress and the treatment/plan/ outcome is unknown at this stage... further stress impacts our mental and physical health... 

Be kind to yourself

James4000 hi James I do know what you mean about feeling anxiety about every thing  I’m in the same boat so to speak I have an appointment on Tuesday morning with a consultant and I’m really getting nervous about the meeting  I guess he will tell me things about my tumour  I do know they want to start with chemo to shrink it before they operate  I’m worried about chemo and the down side effects it’s bad enough coping with the tumour as well as side affects from chemo  but I know I need to get better so I will have to have what ever they say I have to have. I was hoping I could just go and have a operation to get rid of it even though I’m scared about that  but I was told they don’t like doing that   Wishing you all the best James my thoughts are with you  keep us informed  lots of love xxx

Thank you both

I have, to an extent, a different situation. I am worried, from.what I've heard so far, that in my case, if they go straight to surgery, I'd have a higher chance of needing to have a stoma (due to location and size of the tumour etc), so I wonder if some oncology first to shrink it would be better for my longer term recovery and healing.

I'm in the dangerous realm of speculating though.

Hi James4000... your last sentence says it all...

A high % of cancers are initially treated with chemotherapy,  this is to hopefully reduce the size, therefore enabling a better removal of the tumour..

Every body, every cancer is unique and therefore I  think we have to trust the medical profession to use their knowledge and experience to achieve the best possible outcome for the patient...

Listening to the experience of other's is neither helpful or informative for any of us..

Yes makes sense.

Just had a call from the nurse. It's going to be chemo. I'm not so bothered about that per se. But am very worried that the location of things is making it look trickier for surgery and they seem to be looking at a stoma outcome. Really really want to get through this without a stoma if there's any chance.

Feeling very down. There's still a chance, I guess, but I am guessing. I definitely need detailed discussions with both surgeon and oncologist. I should be called in for a meeting in the next fortnight. And I'll need to collate a load of records and send them off for 2nd opinion.

I am grateful there should be treatment and cure, but am feeling very low about next steps and the prospect of a stoma.

Hi James4000 I'm sending you a gentle hope that's OK...

I would like to share a couple of things that may or may not be useful but I'm hoping they are..

In regards to a [ possible] stoma...this can only be decided by the surgeon,  very often at the time of surgery,  some things are difficult to predict beforehand.  I gave a friend/neighbour who has been thru this process, beginning a decade ago..

Chemo, surgery and a stoma.. not the outcome as a fit/healthy/ active man.. he had envisioned.. but his willpower and strength to not be determined by the stoma were incredible  ..

He cycles daily, swims, plays bowls, takes regular holidays,  keen gardener... everything he did prior to surgery.. his adaptation and acceptance of his new way of life has been inspiring and humbling to all who know him..

In respect to obtaining a 2nd opinion...

Sadly a young cousin was diagnosed with breast cancer last autumn.. she underwent the chemo in preparation for her surgery and further treatment post op.. 

She was given a date for her surgery and then decided to have a 2nd opinion..

Unfortunately the 2nd consultant confirmed the diagnosis and treatment plan set out by the original investigations, which were very complex and thorough.  The outcome of this is that she has missed the original date for surgery and is now back on the list.. she is told she will be fast-tracked without any definitive time for her surgery...

Thinking of you x 

Thank you Eastendgirl 

I appreciate this so much.

Mentally I'm not ready to consider a stoma possibility, but at some point i may have to. I'm a pretty tough cookie generally but (and to your wise point about being kind to oneself), my mental and emotional reserves get drained and right now I'm at a very low ebb. Not sure what else I was expecting really but I guess I hoped for some better news.

Will try to get home and take my meds and then try to get out and do some exercise in this torrential rain, which may help a bit.

Sorry to be a downer at the end of the week. I'll read your post again when feeling stronger, as the example of your neighbour is inspiring. If it comes to that for me, I like to think I could follow.thay example and be determined to bith beat this and not let the possible.l stoma hold me back. I just don't have it in me today right now to feel it.

Thank you so much for your support.

X

You are not being a downer, you are feeling overwhelmed by the diagnosis and situation,  which is normal and to be expected..

Get home,  take your meds and enjoy your exercise.. think that is a contradiction  minus 3° here in Scotland sun going down...##bekindtoyourself  x

James4000 hi James I’m sorry your feeling so down with what you have been told  hope when your feeling a bit better and on reflection things won’t look too bad  everything we are told takes some sinking in   My thoughts are with you  James  we are here if you need to talk x

Thank you. You are both so kind. Your support is helping me a lot.

I'm thinking of you both too, and hoping together we can ride out the storms in our paths and come put stronger.

Much love

X

Thank you. You are both so kind. Your support is helping me a lot.

I'm thinking of you both too, and hoping together we can ride out the storms in our paths and come put stronger.

Much love

X

️

James4000 hi James hope your feeling better in your mind than the other day. I have my meeting with consultant tomorrow morning I’m feeling anxious wondering what he is going to say. Then an hour later have an appointment with oncologist to see what these trials are like don’t know how to feel right now  thank you for been there. You and Eastendgirl are my two rocks  thinking of you x

Hi tangoPotter and James4000... been thinking of you both I knew you have appt tomorrow tango,  wanted you to know I am thinking of you and holding your hand .. might be worth writing down any qu tions you have for both appts.  really helps if someone goes with you to take notes.. it's difficult to remember what has been said when we are anxious,  which is natural and expected.. always remem r it is your body, your decision... if you need to go away, discuss your options with family or friends... it's your decision and breathe  xx

Eastendgirl thank you for been there  I’ve just cried today I don’t know how to feel  I’m dreading tomorrow  but like you say it’s my body and I don’t think I will be able to make any decisions tomorrow I need to put things to my daughter and consider my options  xxxx

Hi Tango

I know how you feel, I think. Nothing in particular changed on Friday when the mdt met again other than saying it'll be chemo and arranging a first consultation. But I've taken am emotional nosedive and trying to recover.

Good that you have your daughter with you. As Eastend says, it's good to prepare some questions, take notes, have someone there if you can, and take your time over the decisions, which are yours.

I'm finding it daunting, like you are  to move to the next steps of hearing and discussing treatment. Objectively we know this is all part of the journey towards getting better, but it's tough.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow. Take care

Crying is a great release of so many emotions..  bottling everything up causes more stress and pain..

Just remember... your body, your decision..

Care, support and understanding from others is vital, still comes down to your choice xx

x

James4000 hi James I am sorry your feeling this way  it’s a emotional roller coaster I feel  my appointment is 11 in the morning then another appointment hour after to oncology to listen about the trials  the nurse is all for the trials as it’s her job to recruit people  but all I’m interested in what’s available standard treatment for me which I guess the consultant can tell me   It’s all a daunting and scary journey   All I do know is they want to start the treatment as soon as possible   Will let you both know what been said when I get back tomorrow.  Take care my special friends  xx

Hi tango..and James....   there is often a plan in place for diagnosis and   treatment for patients.. this gives the necessary research details for future generations..it's always been how medicine progresses.. why trials are carried out.. in conjunction with this, there may be a 'package'  a set path of treatment including the finances set aside to complete the plan...which is why many people feel pressured into making decisions,  often without the necessary information or understanding of what is planned....it can be daunting and difficult for the patient who is trying to navigate an unimaginable time... a different scenario for those who are dealing with these issues on a daily basis in the professional way they have been trained ..

Gentle hugs to you both  x

Afternoon Eastend, Tango and everyone else

Tango, I hope today's appointments have gone well for you. No doubt a lot to take in, but hopefully it will help you knowing that treatment plans are proposed and starting soon. 

I think I'll be there in a week or two. I'm seeing a surgeon on Thursday, an Oncologist on Monday and then hopefully a 2nd opinion at another hospital next week (which is a privilege for sure). I think I will freak out as the options and plans and consequences are set out, but I'll try to remain calm and focus on each step and the fact it's all moving towards treatment and cure.

Much love to you. Hope today is good news.