James4000 hi James4000 I know what you mean there is always a big gap in avents I have had a few weeks with gaps too  but I think my op will be very soon towards the end of this month just need to get things over with even though I am scared I need my life back  it’s good that your chemo will shrink your tumour  we all wish you luck and love thinking of you please keep us informed about your journey xxxx

James 4000

Hello James ., I really do wish you luck for when you start Chemotherapy  next thursday. I do realise how you must be feeling  about this,it's a kinda bitter,sweet scenario isn't it,as in one hand your probably glad aa it is a start of treatments to get rid of your cancer ,but on the other hand you are scared witless of just how you and your body will cope ,as you haven't a clue as to hiw you and your body will feel,as our bodies are unique to us, and so our experiences can be very different to one another. 

I remember my first session if Chemotherapy, I was just sitting there like a deer in full headlights, I was extremely anxious and to be honest petrified, so scared hence ny user name on here. I was given anti sickness tablets before Chemotherapy, which were amazing ,worked so well  I never felt sick.  The Chemotherapy nurses and staff were amazing ,the first Chemotherapy session ,they sat with me as it was administered, I had a candular for the first one,but was told I'd need a pickling put into my arm  for the other 7 sessions.  It really wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I had four then the Chemotherapy drug was  changed to paxitaxol.  That didn't agree with me at all,and had to be stopped.  Had to go home,and wait to speak to my oncologist, I never met him,because of covid, it was all just speaking on the phone. He eventually agreed to put me on another taxol Chemotherapy drug. That was tolerable, did have a few days of feeling tired,but I got though it, and as I said it was doable.  Then I had 15 sessions of radiotherapy,every day apart from weekends  over three weejs. That wasn't as bad as I thought either. First one I really didn't feel a thing. By the 5th one  it just felt like vetry mild sunburn . I was told to use E45 cream ,which helped. 

I do hope all goes well with your treatments,it really isn't as bad as I thought,and I kept telling myself ill get to ring that bell soon,and each treatment session I was getting closer  to that goal. Good luck with everything ,do let us know how it all goes .

Hi James4000... good to hear from you,  obviously been thinking of you

Stay strong for Thursday and optimistic re neck/throat xx

Hi All

Been quiet in here for a week or so.

I had my Picc line fitted and started chemo on Thursday. It's going OK.

Picc line was stressful as expected, and took a couple of efforts by the nurse, but we got there. Staff were lovely. First chemo in the hospital all fine, then sent away with a pump.

Symptoms mixed. Mostly ok. I had a high temp Friday so (by protocol) had to go to hospital. No drama, all OK, but a barrage of tests to make sure. Since nurse removed the pump yesterday I maybe feel a little worse? Kinda nausea but not feeling like vomiting. Hard to explain.

But I've carried on, had a an active weekend. Exhausted now!

Big first step for me, and while it's not easy, I'm grateful and cautiously optimistic.

Hi James4000,  so good to hear from you,  well done for staying positive and active.. although it is important to take care and not overdo things.. your body needs TLC right now..it has more than enough to cope with, be kind to yourself xx

Hi James4000 

Sounds like you are staying positive which is great, it's not an easy ride,I too remember getting my pic line in my arm,I onky had one vein that they could use,it wasn't easy ,but like you ,you just g et on with it. Sounds like you have had a very busy weekend too. That's one chemotherapy session over with ,I used to keep telling myself that with each onei had that im getting closer to the finish line didthe same witj the 15 seesions of radiotherapy, and it made me feel.good and ootimustic ,you've got this ,maybe a few ups and downs along your journey  but thats to be expected i guess when going  through any kind of treatments for cancer . But you will get there and with each treatment you have be proud of yourself . Keep up the positivity .

My apologies if I’m missing anyone else’s journey in this thread but James, yours really struck me. You just seem to have had the rug pulled out from under you completely but you got up, dusted yourself off and asked “what’s next?”. You’re handling it all remarkably well. I’m sure you have the odd wobble here and there but as a complete stranger who hasn’t walked in your shoes yet,  you are properly inspirational

i came here the other day to post my very  positive tale of both my colonoscopy and upper GI endoscopy in the last weeks  (both were absolutely fine experiences and wish I hadn’t read so many horror stories) but as I’m being flung through the NHS at terrifyingly lightening speed for tests I’m glad to know if I get bad new next week not everyone falls apart like I expect I would. 

The very best to you - and any others I may have missed - you’ll kick it’s *** so hard. 

Hi James4000...just wanted you to know I am thinking of you,  stay strong and be kind to yourself xx

James4000... so good to hear from you, I can understand how disappointed and frustrated you must be feeling with yet another delay but.. nothing to be done but staying positive..not easy but essenti for the journey ahead the impact on the immune system is expected unfortunately,  the effects of a cocktail of chemicals on your body takes it's toll. Really positive to hear B.M are easier and m going with you..the 1st round of chemo has begun it's work  Our mind is so strong .. staying clear of the negative thoughts [ never said it is easy]  but really essential.. finding a positive in every day.. however small.. for me it's the birdsong,  the bus ess of nest building going on in the hedgerow,  buds opening,  bulbs emerging from the warming soil.. I put the snow shovels away yesterday.. THAT'S positive,  living in Scotland

Take care James, sending gentle hugs  x