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Pre-Diagnosis

Dimpsey
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Hello Folks.

You're Messages are all of wonderful Support for each other and what lovely inspiring people you are.

I do have a dilemma at the moment within my own mind.

I noticed a lumpy area in my breast which was on and off quite tender and the shape of my breast and nipple had changed.

This lumpy area i noticed a few weeks ago and went to Re book a missed mamagram but was told to seek a doctors appointment.

So i was rushed through for a face to face with a lovely doctor who confirmed that yes there was a lumpy area. I would therefore be fast tracked for an asap appointment with the Breast Clinic. I had been back home about an hour when i had to call to attend this october 5th so just 12 days away.

I haven't so far mentioned anything to my 3 adult Children 35, 30 and 27. Great kids we are very very close and have dealt with many losses, heartbreak and nearly loosing my eldest 35 year old son in April.

I have been a single Mum raising them on my own due to a Nasty spiteful excuse for a father. Working hard all my life to support us. But we got there. They are wonderful, thoughtful, kind Children who are my absolute world. I've also been blessed with 2 beautiful Grandsons. They are successful in life, family and Partners in life due to their hard work and dedication.

At this stage, early days of course but i have been feeling unwell for quite a while now and suffer from anxiety and depression. Also terrible flashbacks of that abusive marriage. My main question is as this urgent referral has come through so very quicky do i at this point discuss the possibility of it being Breast cancer with them or wait until further tests/scans/biopsies done to either confirm whether it is or isn't. I really do not want to burden them with any unnecessary worry but i also don't like the idea of soon telling them Mum has Cancer. There unfortunately is quite alot of cancer in the family. I really do not know what to do for the best. My lovely Mum died at 64 from multiple cancers and i was with her from beginning to end and i wouldn't of wanted it any other way.

Any advise i would be so greatful for. Thanks for reading, sorry i waffled on a bit but i wanted to put across the fact they are always my go to and vice versa as i have no partner x

  • As a daughter (although I am older than your children) I would say that I would want to be told, especially as you dont have a partner to support you through this uncertain time, I am sure that they will want to be there for you.  I know that it is always a mum's instinct to protect your children from worry, but I think that your children are of an age that they should be able to handle it.

    As you say, if you do end up being diagnosed (although hopefully you wont!), it will come as a lot bigger shock than if you tell them that you need to have some tests etc.

    I hope that it turns out ok.

    Best wishes

    Annie

  • Offline in reply to annie123

    Annie, thankyou so much.

    I do indeed want to protect them, but i do think you are right about the possibility of a massive shock if it is confirmed as that dreaded disease. The fact that I've got the opportunity to discuss the future whether good or bad is a major thought for me. So many people don't get that chance.

    They haven't seen or spoken to the ex for probably 15 years so there would be no support in that area. But all 3 have wonderful gorgeous partners who i am lucky enough to have great relationships with. So i know that all 3 woild be in great hands with support for them.

    I have a few Wonderful friends who i trust completely and have thought of discussing this with them but on the flip side i would feel that I'd betrayed my Children's trust as we are all so together and i know they would give me strength to see this through, if that makes sense.

    At the moment it's just Me and the dog who know...she's always been there for me !! I talk to her lots. I've been thinking constantly about which way to go with this and i think like you i owe them the truth from the very start.

    Thankyou Annie x

  • in reply to Dimpsey

    I am glad that you have decided to tell them, and definately before telling anyone else like friends.  Depending on how your appointment goes, you may want to confide in a friend also.  I would definately recommend taking someone with you to support you, even if its just to sit in the waiting room with you.

    I also talk to my cats all of the time, they are a great comfort.

    I hope that it goes well for you next week and that you hopefully get good news and find that its nothing to worry about.

    Best wishes

    Annie

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