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Waiting on breast biopsy results - heads a mess

Rambleon88
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Hello everyone.

Ive never really posted on anything like this before but I just feel so lost and scared right now I thought Id see if there is anyone else out there feeling the same. 
Im 36, beautiful son and hubby. Couple of weeks ago was doing my fake tan, noticed just the slightest of dips in my left breast (bottom outer corner). I was due on my cycle so left it a few days encase it was something related and when it didnt go I made an appointment with my GP. They couldn't feel anything but made a referral to the breast clinic based on asymmetrical breasts. 
So I head to the clinic, consultant has a feel and agrees on the dip and can feel a lump underneath it. This then leads them to book me in as urgent for the following day but for a biopsy, mammograms and so on. So I have the mammograms done, they take multiple images. Wait again to head into the consultation room with 2 student nurses, the consultant, a Ultrasound tech and a nurse. They start talking about the lump and identify another one but at this point Im a bit numb and not really taking it all in. I have the biopsies done and then the consultant speaks to me, here is where Im upset at myself as I cant remember the exact wording (my head was and is a mess) but something along the lines of “Concerned” or “Suspecting” malignancy. It was all so fast though. I had titanium chips popped in over the two lumps tested then sent back out for another mammogram to confirm their placement and booking me in for an MRI. During the last mammogram I felt so stupid, I was almost literally frozen as every muscle was so tense and I just couldn't stop trembling. The poor technician was trying to get me to relax but I just couldn’t 
I feel so lost, so scared and to be honest completely blindsided and I don't know if Im just being a big baby or if this is a normal reaction to it all. Has anyone experienced something similar and its come back as benign? Im praying it comes back benign but their reaction and way they are speaking has made me feel like they already know it’s cancer. Then I spiral thinking oh god what if its spread already? And the littlest pain anywhere is making me so paranoid.
Im so grateful to my GP and hospital for moving so quickly, the other half just feels terrified. 
Sorry for the long rambly post and thank you for reading, I just feel like Im free falling right now x

  • Offline in reply to RedRuth84

    That is frustrating for you, can't get why it's taking so long for you. We usually go away in September to, but that's cayboshed now, which has upset me....plus side the postman who comes to work said he missed me about two weeks ago and was hoping I was ok...so I told him and he was nice, he only came back with a bunch of flowers and said stay strong, stay positive and don't cry.....awww I thought that was so lovely xxx

  • Offline in reply to TM1

    Hello both! 

    yes fair play the medical team seem to be moving really quickly. Its just been a lot to process and not going to lie Im bricking it at the thought of surgery but I do feel better now I have steps forward. 

      oh lovely I was going to message this evening to see if you’d had results. Fingers and toes crossed for you that you’ll be booking your get away asap!! 

      bless your posties heart thats so lovely!! Its really strange telling people as it just makes the whole thing so much more real. 

    xxx

  • Offline in reply to Rambleon88

    I know was lovely of him. It's one of those when random people who you know but don't know that well or even anyone really when they say Hi, how are, you ok and they have absolutely no idea....I just can't say yay I'm great, when I'm not...if that makes sense....I'd rather be truthful.....this morning went quick, hope the rest of the day at work goes as quick....mind you it's bloody cold today lol xxx

  • Offline in reply to YogiBoo

    How you doing? Hope your OK as can be x

  • Offline in reply to Rambleon88

    Thank you. They logged onto the system, and it says estimated return date is 2 days. But I suspect that will be 3 as that will be 2 days in US and they'll be 6-8 hours behind. So I'll likely have them by the end of the week. 

       that was so lovely of your postie!  Hope you are doing OK xx

  • Offline in reply to RedRuth84

    Morning Redruth84, not too bad thank you....only left my flowers at work didn't I, luckily I put them in water...I'll take them home tonight lol....xx

  • Offline in reply to RedRuth84

    Oh lovely fingers and toes crossed for you!! Let us know how you get on xxx

  • Offline in reply to Rambleon88

    Just had my pre-ops phone call. Bloody hell it all feels very real now but also about the most surreal *** Ive ever gone through. Got bloods and checks tomorrow morning then its just the count down to surgery I think.  How are you feeling lovely? Your surgery is soon too isnt it? Hope your okay hon xxxx

  • Offline in reply to Rambleon88

    Hi sweet, not to bad today. Last night was a bit teary and I felt my mood going down hill, just want it over to be honest but I know when operation date is here I'll be a nervous wreck....its a mixture of emotions at the moment.....at my pre op I got weighed and height measured lol....hope bloods go well tomorrow hun xxx

  • Offline in reply to Rambleon88

    Yeah it does get really real quickly. My husband identified that I was first on the surgery list when I went in for the op and that was such a huge relief!! I wasn't waiting around. There were 3 on the surgeon's list that day and my op took over 2 and a half hours. I would have been a mess waiting all that time if I wasn't first. But everyone is different. 

    Hope it goes well for both of you. 

    Still no results here but decided to book the holiday today anyway so this time next work I'll be in Crete - Yay!! Xx

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