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Waiting on breast biopsy results - heads a mess

Rambleon88
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Hello everyone.

Ive never really posted on anything like this before but I just feel so lost and scared right now I thought Id see if there is anyone else out there feeling the same. 
Im 36, beautiful son and hubby. Couple of weeks ago was doing my fake tan, noticed just the slightest of dips in my left breast (bottom outer corner). I was due on my cycle so left it a few days encase it was something related and when it didnt go I made an appointment with my GP. They couldn't feel anything but made a referral to the breast clinic based on asymmetrical breasts. 
So I head to the clinic, consultant has a feel and agrees on the dip and can feel a lump underneath it. This then leads them to book me in as urgent for the following day but for a biopsy, mammograms and so on. So I have the mammograms done, they take multiple images. Wait again to head into the consultation room with 2 student nurses, the consultant, a Ultrasound tech and a nurse. They start talking about the lump and identify another one but at this point Im a bit numb and not really taking it all in. I have the biopsies done and then the consultant speaks to me, here is where Im upset at myself as I cant remember the exact wording (my head was and is a mess) but something along the lines of “Concerned” or “Suspecting” malignancy. It was all so fast though. I had titanium chips popped in over the two lumps tested then sent back out for another mammogram to confirm their placement and booking me in for an MRI. During the last mammogram I felt so stupid, I was almost literally frozen as every muscle was so tense and I just couldn't stop trembling. The poor technician was trying to get me to relax but I just couldn’t 
I feel so lost, so scared and to be honest completely blindsided and I don't know if Im just being a big baby or if this is a normal reaction to it all. Has anyone experienced something similar and its come back as benign? Im praying it comes back benign but their reaction and way they are speaking has made me feel like they already know it’s cancer. Then I spiral thinking oh god what if its spread already? And the littlest pain anywhere is making me so paranoid.
Im so grateful to my GP and hospital for moving so quickly, the other half just feels terrified. 
Sorry for the long rambly post and thank you for reading, I just feel like Im free falling right now x

  • Offline in reply to TM1

    Hi    thank you for checking in. How are you getting on? How are you finding your treatment? 

    I had my third of six cycles last Wednesday so I'm half way through chemo after I get past these next few weeks. So that seems like such a milestone! But my 5 year old spiked a temperature over the weekend and I'm hoping that I don't get whatever it is she has got :(  

    How are you getting on  ? 

  • Offline in reply to RedRuth84

    Hello ladies!!

    Im 5 days out of my first chemo session of EC. Looks like my PICC line has given me a clot which is rubbish. Otherwise Im hanging on in there just feeling a bit rough and sleeping loads. Sending lots of love and positive vibes to you both xx

  • Offline in reply to Rambleon88

    Hi Rambleon,

    I am glad to hear that you've had your first chemo, but sorry to hear that you've developed a clot with your PICC line. I hope that this has now been sorted for you. Be kind to yourself and give in to sleep if you need to.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Thank you Jolamine!  

    Ive slept like a bear recently, Im finding chemo tiredness quite a unique experience. 
    At the moment the clot is now being treated with blood thinners I have to inject daily. Must admit mentally I really could have done without that added extra but oh well. 

    Hope everyone is doing well xxx

  • Offline

     I had a biopsy done yesterday after a routine mammogram picked up something. I  was shaking and crying during the procedure. I am so scared and just can’t stop thinking and worrying about it so very normal reaction. 

  • Offline in reply to RedRuth84

    Hi hun, aww you're doing great, remember that...I'm rooting for you...oh no, hope your little one gets well soon and pray you don't get it, so much going round. I'm OK, radiotherapy finished which was ok really, just the travelling every day.. already feel like Bagpuss lol, yawning my head off. That's side effects of radiotherapy and the letrozole tablets I'm on....so finding work a bit too much at the moment....got my bone scan on 13 December so hoping that's OK to....I really hope and pray everything works out for us all....stay strong xxx

  • Offline in reply to Rambleon88

    Hi sweet, aww hope the clot gets sorted for you, your closer to the finishing line now hun, sleep is the best medicine, just do what you need to do....I'm all done with radiotherapy now, was ok though. Got my bone scan on 13 December so hopefully that will be ok... tiredness is getting to me, I'm like Bagpuss yawning from 3pm onwards! So finding work a bit too much at the moment. Hang on in hun, your doing well....my thoughts and prayers are with you...xxx

  • Offline in reply to hcubix

    Hi there, yes of course it is, I have been in the very same position as you. I ended up having a lumpectomy and just last week completed 5 days of radiotherapy. The wait is awful, the ladies on here will tell you the same...stay strong and I know you will worry...but have your family around you.. don't Google its the worse thing you can do as there's far too much wrong information out there...I was stage 1 by the way, caught early. I'm on Letrozole for next 5 years. If you want to vent on here or ask anything any of us will help you through this..  I found it so helpful coming on here....your not alone lovely.... xx

  • Offline in reply to hcubix

    Sending lots of love. Its a unbelievably tough experience. I know how scary this feels, try and remember - the majority of lumps investigated are not cancer and those that are can still be successfully treated. You are currently in one of the worse limbos you can be in, you arent alone though and we are all here if you need to chat/vent xx

  • Offline in reply to TM1

    Oh hon, Ive been thinking of you all!! 

    Ive heard many people mention how exhausting radiotherapy is, Im so so glad its done for you now though lovely. Your truly on the path of being able to put it behind you. Let us know how you get on with your scan. 
    This red-devil stuff is quite something, I slept at one point for 16 straight hours! Luckily today I feel a bit more human. Just gutted my PICC line decided to act up but the blood thinners feel like they are working to sort it now. 

       the half way mark!!!!!!  Thats such a huge milestone, well done. This path isnt easy but you got this. Hope your little one is okay lovely, when I had my PICC looked at there were so many people coughing around me when I was waiting for my ultrasound I just sat there trying to breathe through my collar instead. 

    Xxxx

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