My wife was in this situation around 3 years ago, and she just over 2 years out from treatment. They found 2 lumps, one on top of the other. At first they thought it was just the one, just weirdly shaped, but after the mri, it turned out to be 2. She too was told on the day, and was slightly blinded.

I really can't say this enough, but take someone with you, so you have a second pair of ears. It's amazing the stuff my wife missed, but luckily i was there too, so i picked more stuff up. It was like we were in 2 separate consultations.

Every niggle you get at this point, you will think the worst. That's more than normal. My wife had put her back out a week prior to her diagnosis, had a sore shoulder, had a horrid cough that i had been nagging her to go see about for months prior and she had awful fatigue running up to all this. From her initial "it looks sinister" diagnosis, to her MRI, i won't lie, i was thinking the worst. After her scans, the cough was allergies, the back was mechanical and the fatigue was stress due to her running around after her elderly parents and holding down a full time job. Yeah, my point, the human body is complex and you can have multiple things going on at once, so try not to fret over the other stuff. Easier said then done, but you'll be tense and stressed, and as such you're more like to get muscle aches during this time with that stress.

Thank you so much for this. 
Its very true, Im so unbelievably tense right now its no wonder everything aches. I keep holding my shoulders really high but cant relax enough to get them to sit normally. Im trying my best to avoid Dr Google but its so bloody hard. The community here is fantastic though, Im so beyond grateful to everyone who has responded. 
How is your wife feeling these days ProfBaw? Hope she is happy and well!!

Its the mornings right now Im finding really really difficult as my emotions are everywhere. By tea time I feel more centered and rational but mornings are just awful, has anyone else experienced this? Was there anything that helped? My GP has given diazepam but I dont want to get used to taking it so scared to even start. 

Big hugs everyone xxxx

Morning lovely, my kids are 27 and 24, daughter lives with me, son moved to his dad's back in January. Both taken it ok, my daughter has been amazing and supportive, she's in Rhodes at the moment on holiday and I'm glad she's gone, to enjoy herself. Mornings feel OK if I've managed a sleep, it's evening I find hard, watching tv and mind starts working overtime. Baby steps as my partner says.. just come off the phone from my key worker at the hospital and she was lovely to talk to.  Feeling bit better in myself at this moment in time, but that could change...I think for now tell your son when you are ready to, everyone is different and there's no right or wrong approach, kids are resilient and will be your strength hun. Xxxx

My wife is doing great. Her cancer was classed as highly aggressive and was quite extensive as far as local spread went. But she had a complete response to the treatment, and here we are 2 years out from it and she's still classed as no evidence of disease. Due to her response from the treatment, her reoccurrence percentage is very low. Something like 3%.

No matter how dire things seem just now, there really is life after a cancer diagnosis. This part of the journey is one of the worst parts as far as mental health goes. The unknown is horrendous. But should your results not be what you're hoping for, and you have all the facts at hand, the mental strain becomes a lot less burdensome. You'll have something else to focus on.

The physical part aside, my wife found the most difficult part mentally to deal with was the after part. During her diagnosis, her subsequent treatment, she was busy, had medical support and had nurses etc to fall back on. Afterwards, you're just kinda left to get on with it. She found it difficult to trust her body again. She's on Tamoxifen, so she feels she's still doing something. Again, this is something people with cancer and those around them come to understand. Should you get good news, you'll always be more jumpy when finding something. It never really leaves you.

So glad to hear your feeling a bit better. Yes baby steps definitely, its all so much to take in. Thats great news your key worker is lovely.
Im not going to say anything to my son until I know whats going on. Same with my parents Im not saying anything to them until I know whats happening. Its so strange though I feel so guilty and like Ive done something really wrong. The feeling of guilt and fear is just massive especially in the mornings. 

Thats incredible news with your wife!!! 
oh gosh I can only imagine, going from the speed of appointments, information and treatments to then just be left to it must be very strange. If you dont mind me asking how old was your wife when diagnosed?
Oh bless her, yes trusting your own body again after everything must be so difficult. 
I think regardless of the outcome I will always now have a completely new found respect and fear at how fast life can change and such a appreciation for what I have. X

She's not around to ask just now. I'm absolutely shocking with ages, b'days etc. She was at the tail end of her 40's, that i do know. She'd smack me in the head for not knowing. I'm not ashamed to admit it, but I'm one of those stereotypical guys when it comes to remembering this sort of stuff.

I'm good with round numbers like 30, 35, 40 etc. But give me a 42, 36 etc, i struggle. I remember when i had an accident a few years ago, i was sitting having a massive to and fro with the paramedic in the back of an ambulance about how old i was. We had to eventually get a tablet out and put it through Google. Aye, never ask me folks ages. I know my kid is 16 because a 16th b'day is a biggie. But she'll be 16 until she's 18, and 18 or 19 until she's 21.

Hello everyone.

Im really struggling today (Im so sorry to be on here and just moan) 

Im terrified. I just tried getting some answers out of the breast clinic, my biopsy results are in and due to be discussed by the MDT tomorrow. They haven't cancelled my MRI for Monday.

If it was negative they would probably cancel my MRI for Monday wouldn't they? 
Surely if it was benign they could tell me over the phone? The nurse on the phone sounded very sympathetic and asked if I had a partner. 

The MDT team meet every Friday, the nurse said they will be speaking tomorrow but will likely need the MRI results before speaking to me. 
My mind is racing, I feel so desperate right now, none of this feels real. 

Hello everyone.

Im really struggling today (Im so sorry to be on here and just moan) 

Im terrified. I just tried getting some answers out of the breast clinic, my biopsy results are in and due to be discussed by the MDT tomorrow. They haven't cancelled my MRI for Monday.

If it was negative they would probably cancel my MRI for Monday wouldn't they? 
Surely if it was benign they could tell me over the phone? The nurse on the phone sounded very sympathetic and asked if I had a partner. 

The MDT team meet every Friday, the nurse said they will be speaking tomorrow but will likely need the MRI results before speaking to me. 
My mind is racing, I feel so desperate right now, none of this feels real. 

Hi hun, aww calm down sweet, it's the waiting and unknown and THATS EXACTLY what I went through, hence lost the plot and walked out of work! I know what you are going through believe me....I got me letters through the post today, now it's real, but I'm OK, I'm back in work from Monday until operation date....I have to go back due to finance reasons....look, try and keep busy, sort out that drawer that's full of ***, we've all got one.  Lol...its in their hands now hun and they will ring you to go in and have "that chat", don't go alone whatever they say you may not hear it all, not saying it's not good news, I've got everything crossed for you sweetheart. My results were discussed by the team before I knew anything so that's normal...talk to your loved ones, I've told quite a few people not looking for sympathy but if I bumped into them didn't want to break down...I'm not saying it's easy, I'm absolutely petrified, operation omg...but it's a journey I have to go. I've started a diary, just for me when I go to bed, it helps to put my feelings in writing. You'll get there hun, I'm sure you will..xx

Hi Rambleon. They are highly unlikely to give you results over the phone by a breast care nurse either way.     I know it's scary and overwhelming. They will want the MRI and a final MDT discussion either way before giving you the results.  The best thing you can do (IMO) is to go for the MRI give it a week or so and ask for a cancellation appointment to see if you can get the results sooner (sorry I can't remember if you have a further appt booked in).   Honestly, I would recommend counselling in the interim if you can get it privately. It really helped me. 

Thank you so much both, If I could hug you right now I would!!

its just so *** not knowing and having this horrible feeling. My stomach feels iffy, my throat is tight nearly all of the time and my heads just playing the worst tricks on me now. I just feel so so guilty. In one respect Im like “thank god I got this tiny tiny dent seen!!” In the other I just desperately want to be in the frame of mind I was in before my life felt upside down xxx

It's so hard on everyone. I found the waiting for the biopsy results so so hard. I didn't sleep nor eat. It's torture.  Be kind to yourself. It does get easier, I promise. Xx

My wife was 49 (weeks before her 50th). She was not impressed i had to ask her.

About the telephone call. We all have a bad habit of reading too much into something. Whether it be a single word in a letter, or over analysing a conversation we had over the telephone. It's what we do. The 1st appointment we had with the oncologist after her scans, and when we were about to be given the full diagnosis, there was a nurse hanging around in the waiting room. She only went in with certain people, whilst leaving others to go in themselves. I said to my wife, that must be the bad news nurse because one of the patients she went in with came out in tears. I was scowling at her, and cursing her in my head that she better not come into the room when we were in.

We got called in, and the nurse opened the door, and my heart sank. We were gonna be given bad, bad news. In reality, she opened the door and asked the oncologist a question regarding another patient, then left. You'll also go in on the day of your appointment and overanalyse the receptionist, and convince yourself that s/he knows you're about to get bad news. You'll look at the nurse that calls you into the room and convince yourself she's giving to a look of pity. We hear conversations between nurses and think they're talking about us, and it's all bad things. We all do it, even us partners. Poor nurses, they get a lot of flak without even knowing they're getting it.

My wife was told it was probable bad news on her biopsy and mammogram appointment, so we were forewarned what to expect. But the nurse said even if the biopsies came back as benign, whatever was in her needed to come out regardless, so it was always gonna be a face to face appointment good or bad.

Hello all,

well unfortunately it is indeed cancer. 
i have provisional grade 2 IDC and DICS in my left breast. A lot of unknowns, I have my MRI Monday and awaiting the date for my CAT scan which will determine the stage cancer I believe. Its Oestrogen and progesterone positive but waiting to hear the HER 2 status. It doesn't appear that it was caught early which is upsetting. Its described as 6cm involvement so I believe that between the IDC and DICS it covers 6cms but Axilla appear normal as per my ultrasound so praying it has not spread. Surgery is a definite as I believe radiation and tablets although it was mentioned chemo may be dependent on the HER status. Does this sound similar to anyone else? 

Just want to say thank you all for your time and kindness, its been so so appreciated xxx

Morning, aww so sorry to read this, it's all a shock and upsetting I know. Take each step as it comes, you've got this. Been thinking about you...stay on here for support, it's a journey we have to face, your not on your own!! Things will move quickly now, especially after Monday when you have your scan.. stay positive, I know it's hard, once I got my results I needed time to process it all, in my head.  Massive hugs xxx

Thank you so much, massive hugs back to you xxxx

Hi Rambleon. I'm sorry to read this. But at least you have a partial diagnosis and you know next steps for further scans. I also had MRI scans after diagnosis. 

Mine was a 44mm cancer based on the MRI scan. Hopefully it will be HER2 negative.  

My understanding is that they won't stage it until after the surgery and know lymph node status definitely. 

They may start you on tamoxifen immediately to stop it growing while you wait for surgery (that's what they did for me I was ER and PR + but HER2- ). 

Try and process it slowly and be kind to yourself. Things will move fairly rapidly now. 

I had a lumpectomy and partial reconstruction as they had to take some skin. I had a LICAP flap. The surgery and recovery wasn't as bad as I expected. I get my post op results on Monday morning. 

Try and put it to one side for the weekend (if you can) and have some fun with your family. Keep thinking positive. Big hugs. Xx

More than welcome, tell your family and you will feel better knowing they know and give you the support you need hun. Baby steps remember....xxx