Hi everyone, I’m posting for the first time after searching online for some support.

I’m on the beginning of my journey that I don’t know yet what it is, which is making me very nervous. 
I found a lump on my tummy around two weeks ago, saw the doctor, blood tests the following day shown positive for cancer. I have scans next week and the following day I will see the consultant. 

Nothing is for sure until a diagnosis is confirmed but my head and body are telling me otherwise. 
I have started connecting the dots of symptoms and thinking this is it.

I’m 46 and it feels very much like a scary journey.

I keep thinking that 46 is too young to die.

Did I wasted my life? Did I give myself this by not looking after myself better? Why didn’t I insisted with my gp for more tests when my period was draining me?  So many questions creating doubts and so little possibilities for the future not knowing yet exactly what’s going on.

My family doesn’t seem to believe it yet and it’s making feel very lonely in the midst of all of this, they say they will worry when I get a diagnosis. But I’ve been worried since day one…. About everything!

I am not a person that deals well with uncertainty, I need preparation to feel in some sort level of control. 

It just feels pretty lonely over here.

Thank you for listening, I deeply appreciate it. 
I wish everyone well wishes. xx