Growth on cervix

Hi,  so last week I went for a pelvic exam as I suspected a small prolapse but came.away much more worried and can't think about anything else since.

The nurse noticed something on my cervix. She said it could be a polyp but wants me to see a doctor on Tuesday. She asked when my last smear test was and I'm ashamed to admit it was 9 years ago. I know I'm a idiot. She said I definitely should have attended them which has put real fear in me, that she thinks it's cancer.

2 days later and I am spotting a little and having period like pains. I'm hoping this is just from the exam but now petrified that I could have been spotting for much longer and just not noticed as its such a tiny amount, literally just a dot on toilet paper. 

I'm 41 and have 3 kids and am absolutely terrified, can't eat or sleep and just wanna cry all the time. I'm.convinced it's cancer and it's all my own fault.