Sick with worry about breast again

I’m hoping to vent and get some much needed hand holding at the moment from you lovely people. I am sick with worry at the moment and finding it hard to distract myself.

Last year I had breast burning pain and an inverted nipple which i immediately attended GP for and was referred to breast clinic. In March 22 I was seen at clinic and had examinations and a mammogram but was given the all clear and told I had non cyclical pain as well as a cluster of small cysts like bubble wrap causing a hard area of nodular tissue. I was so relieved and sent on my way with anti inflammatory gel. Fast forward to June 22 and went back to GP as pain was relentless and my nipple was also sore and seemed to be pulling in more. So referred back to clinic where I was examined again in August 22 and then had ultrasound of breast at top lumpy area again, Radiologist was lovely and showed me cysts on screen but she did not examine my full breast as the ANP had no concerns about how nipple looked. Furthermore I had my screening mammogram in September 22 which also came back clear. 
I have been back to my GP several times since with constant pain and a numb arm and my nipple is still painful and retracted particularly if I get cold as well as a darker red colour than other side. 
After several further examinations and prescriptions for nerve pain, pain relief etc I pushed for another referral which was then assessed as routine as I had two clear mammograms last year.
My “routine” breast clinic appointment is next week and I am so unwell with the worry of it all now. Not sure how much more of this I can take mentally. The what ifs are torturing me! 
sorry for ranting but I can’t share with my family as it is too much. I just feel so sad with everything now x

  • I'm so sorry for how much worry this is causing Pauline, especially after all the appointments you've had over the last couple of years but I, as I'm sure the rest of the Cancer Chat community, will have our fingers crossed all goes well with your next appointment and that you get another all clear as well as some answers to what may be causing your current symptoms.

    Our minds can be both a blessing and a curse, but more so the latter when waiting for appointments, but I hope some of the tips and advice given in this article as well as on the NHS Every Mind Matters website will help ease your mind, if only for a short while.

    If you feel it may to talk this through with someone, then you're welcome to get in touch with our cancer nurses on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m.

    We're here for you Pauline and will be thinking of you next week.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Thanks so much for your lovely reply Steph.

    I am so worried but at least I have my appointment through. I am just so emotional but holding it all in at the moment. My partner is also worried and not saying much at all so I’m glad I can sound off here. Last year I thought I was so lucky but now I worry that something has been missed. 

  • Hi Pauline

    Sorry you're struggling with worry leading up to your appointment. I've just been through referral and come out the other side with good news. I've had weeks of worst case scenario thinking and I couldnt stop it.

    It's great that you have had mammograms fairly recently, hopefully your appointment next week will be another reassurance for you. If you go with a list of concerns perhaps your Dr at the breast clinic can talk through them with you and give you answers that maybe your GP can't :)

    Best of luck,  

    P x

  • Hi Pampers 

    your reply means so much to me tonight. I have had a terrible day with the worry of it all. Been trying to distract myself with work but in my head I’m making plans for cover as I’m not going to get good news. My kind is taking me to very dark places right now. 
    I am so glad to hear you got good news at your appointment This worry has been with me for about 20 months so I’m burnt out with it tbh.
    I need answers and no matter how terrified I am I know I can’t live like this any longer. I have pain and not sure if the worry is making me worse now.
    I’ll update here on his things go and thank you so very much for your lovely message.

    Pauline x

  • Aw Pauline it sounds like you're having such a rough time, I really hope this next few days goes quickly for you. I too had made plans for my work to be sorted in the event of bad news. I felt that it was one of the few things I had control over.

    Definitely make a list of things you want to talk about, it's easy to get distracted at your appointment and not get all the answers you need. If you can take someone with you that might be helpful when you have your chat about your results. I didn't take my hubby in and I wish I had, as I misinterpreted some of the information and got myself in a tizz while waiting for my biopsies. 

    I personally felt my pain was amplified while waiting for my appointment. I was so stressed and anxious that every little twinge or discomfort felt 100x worse and that made me even more worried and convinced something was terribly wrong.

    Hang on for a few more days and be kind to yourself. Take care xx

  • Thanks again for your kindness PampersH. I’ll keep you updated xx

  • Hi Pauline,

    Welcome back. I am so sorry to hear that your pain hasn't settled down since last year. It is unusual to have breast pain with cancer. I am glad to hear that you have persevered and have another appointment at the clinic next week. I wonder if your cysts have got bigger and this may be what is causing the pain? These can be drained if they get too large. I don't know whether or not the doctors would be willing to carry out a biopsy. It might be worth asking, as it sounds as if this is the only thing that could convince you that your tissue is benign.

    I sincerely hope that you get some answers as to the cause of your pain and how to control it this time. Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. As you know, we are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Hi Jolamine, your support last year was so much appreciated so thank you for your lovely reply again. I can’t believe I am still in this awful position today and how much my life has actually been almost on hold since my first referral in Feb 22. The pain is constant now and the change to my nipple is alarming although it was only slightly retracted last year it certainly seems to have gotten considerably worse. Someone told me that this could be ageing but why only on one side and why the pain. I feel at breaking point now so just hope I can manage to hold it together until my appointment on Tuesday. I’ve literally just had an NHS reminder  via text so good to go now. 
    thanks again for your kindness and I’ll keep you updated next week x 

  • Hi Jolamine. I’m just home from the clinic and got good news. I saw the Consultant today for the first time and she was very thorough in her examination. She noticed my inverted nipple right away but immediately reassured me that it was not cancer! With the pain I have and colour changes (pink to dark red/purple) she thinks I have something similar to Raynauds. The breast pain/tenderness is likely due to the cysts I have but she was very clear that she did not need to do further tests as I had clear mammograms last year. She suggested starflower oil and Diclofenac gel when pain is bad. To say I’m relieved is an understatement! Thank you so much to you and everyone for being here for me xx 

  • Hi Pauline,

    I'm glad to hear that your consultant today was very thorough. My consultant also recommended Starflower oil when I was having pain too. I hope that it works for you. Please keep in touch and let us know.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx