Hi that must have been an awful shock and the wait to be seen is the worst thing ,the only way to be seen quick is to go private I know its not everyone that can afford to do that but many have ,I hope you can get something sorted out ,I'm sure there'll  be people on soon who can put your mind at rest a bit x

Thank you x I’ll have a look into private - probably out of my range but it’s worth checking out! 

Lara on here went private she might be able to give you an idea how much the initial scan etc was ,I don't think its as much as people think I was thinking about £250-£300 although I could be wrong but I'm sure someone will let you know .

Hi Kgraham,

A very warm welcome to our forum.

I am sorry to hear that you find yourself in this awful position of waiting to be seen at the breast clinic. Most of us would agree that this is the most worrying time of our cancer journey and the way you are feeling is perfectly normal. The best thing to do, is to try and find things to do that help to distract you from the wait. Don't be tempted to look things up on Google, as there are many different types and grades of cancer and it tends to dwell on the more spectacular cases, which will only serve to scare you further.

I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer, within a year of one another. I lost my mum to secondary breast cancer, which had spread to her brain, bones, liver and lungs, so I was naturally terrified when I was diagnosed. I had 2 young teenage children at the time and I feared that I was going to put them through the same scenario we had with mum, only to leave them without me as well.

My experience was so very different to hers. Diagnosis, treatment and aftercare have all made tremendous strides forward in the interim. It is now 14 years since I was first diagnosed and I still lead a busy and fulfilling life.

Once you attend the clinic, they are likely to carry out a mammogram, an ultrasound and a biopsy. You will probably then have another anxious wait of 1-2 weeks, to get the results of these. Going private can usually get your results a little quicker, but if you cannot afford to have private treatment, you may then have a further wait to be referred back into the NHS system - so, it's swings and roundabouts really.

Not all lumps are cancerous. Of all the people who attend the clinic, only 2 out of every 10, are likely to get a cancer diagnosis. Many lumps turn out to be benign cysts or fibrous changes. I sincerely hope that you get your appointment through soon and that nothing untoward is found.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, 

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I’m sorry to hear of your own struggles with cancer but very pleased to hear of a positive outcome. 

I have calmed myself down a little since yesterday and put my rational head on. The anxiety and sinking feeling in my stomach is still present and I’m guessing will be until I get some answers but I’m no longer a sobbing mess so that’s a bonus! 

I looked into private scans and tests and although we could pull off the cost for those, I did consider that if treatment was required I’d have to be referred back to the NHS exactly as you said. 

Unfortunately, and very unwisely I fell into Google last night which definitely did not help! I do actually have some medical training so I should have known better and I’ll make sure I stay off it from now on! 

Again, thank you so much for replying and I’ll keep you updated  x

Hi Kgraham,

I am glad to hear that you are feeling a little calmer since yesterday. This journey is very much like a rollercoaster - up one minute and down the next. Don't let the tears worry you, as they are a good stress reliever. Irrespective of the outcome, it does get easier once you know what you're dealing with. It is such a temptation to fall into the trap of consulting "Dr Google", but it never helps. I have some medical training myself and sometimes wonder if that made my journey harder.

I hope that your appointment comes through soon and that nothing untoward is found.

I shall look out for your update.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Just a little update - I got a call from the breast clinic yesterday afternoon to say they had a cancellation today at 1pm and could I make it. I said yes of course - I’m so so grateful they could fit me in so soon! No sleep last night and my stomach is churning like mad but at least by this afternoon I’ll have a rough idea of what’s going on! 

I’ve had my biopsy and I’m in the waiting for results phase. It’s SO HARD! To begin with I was constantly in tears and planning my funeral, but after the initial shock it’s been a little easier.

I’ve been doing a lot of meditation, walking barefoot in the garden, chanting, (Buddhist tendencies) and talking to friends. It’s helping. Keeping busy with the kids, and physically writing down my fears. I also had an appointment with my counsellor. 

I’m also giving myself permission to freak out a bit, but only once the kids are in bed…and the last couple of nights I’ve actually been OK. 

Can you plan in some time for yourself?

Hi kgraham,

I'm so glad I found your post because the panic and anxiety have totally taken over! I found a lump a week ago, saw my gp on Monday and now waiting for the ultrasound appointment.  It's great to hear you got your appointment quickly. I think I will lose the plot if I have to wait the full 2 weeks. I'm trying so hard to be normal and carry on with school holiday things but it's a struggle. 

I keep telling myself there's no point worrying about the unknown but it's easier said than done. One things for sure is that Dr Google is not my friend.

Thinking of you today x

I truly hope the results are positive news for you! It’s absolutely the worst feeling isn’t it - the unknown, the possible outcomes if the news isn’t happy news. 

I’m pleased you’ve managed to find ways to destress and keep yourself grounded. I am currently flitting between feeling positive and ok about it all to completely freaking out. Luckily I’ve been able to hide the freak out moments from the kids and I have some fantastic friends who are being so supportive through all of it. 

Anxiety is in full swing this morning though as I wait for the scan!