Hi all,
Posting here to save me going on repeat to my family and friends as I think I'm boring them to death with my worries that get worse by the day.
Last week I found a large lump, cut our holiday short to immediately see the GP the next day and she referred me to the Breast Unit as an urgent referral without any reassurance, other than to state it was smooth and movable and definitely a lump.
I have my appointment on the 2nd June but in the meantime I'm struggling to concentrate, sleep or focus on anything other than the fact it is breast cancer and what that might mean for my life, my kids, my partner and a new job I'm due to start (or maybe not) in a month - also meaning I won't be protected financially if I have to undergo treatment which I feel is a real likelihood.
I have just been through a 6 month period of severe anxiety and burn out with work (hence the new job that I'm really excited about, or was until this came along). I was just turning a corner after a lovely break with my family when I found this horrible ominous 2cm hard lump and then everything has reverted back to severe anxiety. I feel like I am crumbling with the anxiety and worry and don't know how to cope with the real likelihood of cancer. I am concerned that with my previous anxiety I may have missed the lump, though I am usually very body conscious. Worried that I can visibly see the lump on the top of my breast and my partner confirmed that too - he looked scared at that point.
I know there are other possibilities but these are less likely - Fi fibroadenomas are less likely at my age, and a cyst usually feels squishy and a GP can sometimes tell if they think it's this and she would have told me but she didn't.
Not sure what I'm looking for by posting here other than to let out some of the worries in a place where they may be understood.
Thanks for reading if you have got this far.
x
