Hiya, if your "Edin" part is a clue for where you are from, I'd like to say you're in very good hands. My wife was diagnosed around 2 years ago, and tbh, couldn't have wished for a better hospital.

What i would like to pick you up on is your "I know there are other possibilities but these are less likely". Factually not true. You are less likely to be diagnosed with cancer than the benign stuff. Someone can feel free to correct me here, but something like 8/10 lumps turn out to be nothing. I do get that is little or no consolation at the moment because the not knowing is one of the toughest parts you will endure mentally. We found little or nothing to lessen the anxiety during this period. Keeping busy lessened it at times, but it was always there. Everyone suffers from it to an extent and us being human, it's human nature to pick out the worst case scenario or to focus on it at least whilst ignoring all the other stuff.

I'm sorry you're having some trouble navigating our private messaging service Edin_mum.

I can see Laraj has provided you with a good explanation of how to get started but I just thought I would share this handy guide we have on how to add a friend on private messaging with you as well.

I hope this helps but if you have any problems, just let me know.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Thanks for your message, I'm sorry to hear about your wife but also relieved to hear that the treatment at Edinburgh is so good. I hope she is doing well now? 
 

Can I ask if she was able to work through her treatment at all? That is a major financial concern of mine.

Thank you so much. I'm just really new so hadn't managed to feel my way around but I really appreciate your guidance.

Being able to work differs greatly for everyone.

My wife was diagnosed with stage 3, grade 3 and HERS+ bc. It was in her lymph nodes. so she needed aggressive treatment, so she was unable to work during this time. In fact, she is due to return to work next month. She's been off for around 2 years now. However, she had it rough during treatment. Her body did not like the second type of chemo at all, and she was in hospital during that chemo more often than she was at home after her infusions. But most folk don't. It was just how her body reacted to that specific chemo. She was extremely lucky with her job. Normally, it's 6 months full pay, and then half pay for the first year. then after that, i think the government pick it up. But her employers have kept her on full pay. She's worked for them for the last 30 odd years, so there was a relationship so to speak between them and her. They came through massively for her.

She met other women that had worked more or less during their treatment. It really all depends on how you are feeling both physically and mentally. She was knocked for 6 physically. but she has been very good mentally.

As for how she's doing, the chemo killed the cancer. She had a full response to it. Come the op all they pulled out was dead cancer cells. So she's currently considered cancer free.

If you're ever worried about finances, the maggies centre attached to the hospital is an absolute god send. Both they and Macmillan are fantastic at advising you. Even though we both work full-time, Maggies got her PiP. So that's an extra £600 per month. It covers her travel. Talking about Maggies. Even though you're at the pre diagnosis stage, you can pop in and talk to someone. They are there for all stages of the process. They know exactly what you are going through, so don't dismiss it out of hand. My wife found them really good, and still goes and sees them once or twice a month. You become part of their family.

This is SO helpful to read, I can't tell you. I'm panicking as I'm in a unique situation where I'm working my notice period on a job and about to start a new on in early July. So I'm worried my new job won't want me post diagnosis, and then I'll really be stuck financially. Not just that but I've come out of a long period of stress with my work and the new job was something I found that really will suit me and I could get passionate about, but now...well who knows? 
 

I am going to follow up on the Maggie's suggestion as this does sound brilliant.

Hello,

Sorry to hear you are having a difficult time. 

My appointment is the 31st May with the breast clinic. I hope we both have good outcomes. Will be thinking of you ️

Hi WobzAM,

I managed to get mine brought forward to the 30th, so I am thankful that I could do that. Nervous that it is a 2 week urgent referral too though.

I have an awful gut feeling that mine won't be good news but I really hope both of ours is too. 
i will let you know how I get on.

x

Thanks again for the reassurance. You're right and that is why it is so good that the biopsies can tell the experts so much so that the treatment plan is individualised. I'm nervous about the size of the lump and what that means but I can't change that now.

Really appreciate the time you've taken to post. I hope your wife gets on well on her return to work and that she remains cancer free.