I had an ultrasound on a lump today at the breast clinic. The lump I have is just under the bra line, so not technically on the breast, but due to breast pain my GP thought it was best to cover all bases so I was referred to both the Breast Clinic and the sarcoma service.
The first thing the doctor said to me was "I don't see why you're here with that, it's not a breast issue." So I explained about the pain and the other referral and she just grunted as a response. When she (very roughly!) scanned the lump she said "I thought this was going to be a lipoma, nice and easy, but apparently not... this is going to take some time" and sounded annoyed by it and sighed heavily. She then informed me I would need a biopsy, which I'd half expected, and asked the nurse to get the form for me. As the nurse handed me the form, she reassured me that the anaesthetic was going to block any pain and the doctor cut her off mid sentence, and said "Stop it, it's not your job to talk to the patient, your job is to do what I ask." At this point I stopped wondering if I was imagining her rude behaviour as it seemed pretty obvious she was this abrasive to everyone, I couldn't believe she'd spoken to the nurse that way! She had only been trying to be comforting (something I can comfortably say the doctor had not been!!) and didn't deserve to be spoken to like that! The nurse left the room to get something for the biopsy and the doctor goes "I'm not being rude. Patients think I am rude and complain but I am trying to make sure you don't get the wrong idea or wrong information, she doesn't have the clinical knowledge to talk to patients about procedures. It's not rudeness I am trying to get them to do their job properly." I just nodded and said okay because I was really uncomfortable, but it seemed to me that she was saying all that trying to ensure I wouldn't make a complaint, maybe? I don't know.
Anyway, the nurse returns and it comes to the biopsy and they give me the local anaesthetic, which was fine and I didn't feel the scalpel cut me, but when she put the biopsy gun in she was wiggling it quite forcefully around and down (which I'm sure is a normal thing), but when it got right down into the lump the anaesthetic didn't seem to stop me from feeling it, so I winced and made a noise. The doctor stepped back and said "What, it hurts?" and I said "A bit." She said "Well if it hurts that much I can always not do it and stop now, you want me to stop? No? Good."
At this point I started to cry silently because... well, I was terrified already, having just been told my lump was not the benign lump I was hoping for; I was half naked on a table with a knife in me and just being honest in response to a question I was asked that yes, I was in pain... and it felt to me like I was being mocked or belittled for feeling pain. I felt like I couldn't speak up after that and even though it continued to hurt I didn't say anything and just clenched my fists and gritted my teeth and let the tears fall silently. The doctor ignored my tears and at the end just instructed the nurse to dress my wound tightly and told me to read the leaflet on aftercare before turning her back on me.
The nurse didn't say anything about the doctor but took me to a private room where she asked another nurse to make me a cup of tea and they went and got my friend to come and be with me. All the staff were super nice to me after that and I got the impression this wasn't the first time a patient had been reduced to tears by this particular doctor. The nurses exchanged knowing looks and ones I hadn't even seen before came in to ask me if I was okay.
Reflecting on it now I find I'm actually in tears again, I feel so silly, but I just wanted to gauge others reactions to this to see if I am overreacting... I am quite sensitive generally, I'm autistic which doesn't really affect me in my daily life, but today was completely overwhelming for me and all I needed was some compassion today. She made me feel like my lump, my pain, my presence was a burden, an inconvenience - nobody should feel that way in a breast clinic, because nobody is there for a positive reason and everyone deserves care and respect.
Sorry, I just had to unload. It was a traumatic experience for me and one I hope to never repeat. I am thinking about making an official complaint but seeing as she already has patients complain about her, I doubt it will make much of a difference!! I sincerely hope everyone else who said they were going to the breast clinic today had better results and more compassionate doctors!
