Hi Luna1970. I'm afraid I really can't help you with your rather worrying diagnosis. I myself have breast cancer but I just wanted to reach out and say hello. Practically I will say that you need to try not to worry. Very much easier said than done as I know from my own diagnosis. When I was told I had breast cancer my knee *** reaction was "I can't do this"  but I could and I did, totally in my own too. I have no family and my closest friend here where I live ran for the hills and I've not seen her since. My 2 best friends live over 50 miles away and are amazing with phone calls, messages and little care packages but of no practical help. I'm telling you this because you need to know you are stronger than you think and you will do this, whatever lies ahead just take one day at a time. I don't know your personal circumstances but if you have family and friends around let them support you. If you are alone like me then you will still be OK. If I have understood your post correctly there is still the possibility that this is just a fibroid and I really hope for your sake that this is the case. Please post again when you are able and let me know how you are doing. I am here to chat whenever you need someone to talk to and I'm sure others will respond to you as well.

Keep your chin up, stay positive and remember - you CAN do this. All the best, Mog, x

Hello Mog

Thank you for your reply.  I do have some goods friends around me and my wonderful daughter.   I am the carer of my elderly mother which is making things feel harder.  I suffer with extreme health anxiety and I have absolutely convinced myself that this is definitely cancer, however much I try  I just cannot think how it can possibly be anything else.  I've spend days online scrolling through health sites and frightening myself so badly.  I can't sleep, I'm barely eating,  I can't go to work, I'm an absolute mess.  My pain has worsened since I had the scan and was told that this mass is there so I've convinced myself that it's obviously growing and spreading fast which feeds into the anxiety even more by convincing myself that a fibroid wouldn't be doing that.  My mental health has been an issue for most of my adult life,  mostly anxiety and on occasions, bouts of depression.  I don't think I'm strong enough to deal with this even with support and I really admire that you manage without any. I think you're amazing and I wish you so well.

Hi Luna, how are you doing this morning. I have just spent an hour writing a message to you only to have it vanish into the ether (or wherever it goes!). If you are new to this forum you need to be aware that messages vanish on a regular basis and you have to start again. It's very frustrating and I have no idea why it happens, but it does.

I know how hard it is but you must try and eat. If you do happen to have cancer you will need all your strength to fight it and for the same reason you need your sleep too. Have you asked your doctor for a few sleeping pills just to help you until you get your results?Do you have an appointment yet to get those results? You must let me know when you do.

Whatever those results turn out to be I know that you will manage far better than you think you will. Looking on the bright side it may turn out to be just a fibroid but if it is cancer you will find yourself stronger than you think. Honestly this is the worst bit, the waiting for a diagnosis. Even if it is cancer it is better to know - you will know what you are dealing with, a battle plan will be drawn up and the fight will start. Trust me once your treatment is under way you will feel better. You will be doing something positive to fight the monster. I imagined my tumour as a small, black spiky monster with big, sharp teeth living in a little cave in my boob happily chomping away on my oestrogen. It helped me deal with the situation. My monster was rudely evicted from his little cave and sent off to America for oncotyping and I never saw him again (not that I ever actually saw him but you know what I mean!). My fear now is that he left some of his children behind which is why I am now taking  drugs to kill off my oestrogen thus depriving said little children of the food they need to survive. By now you probably think that I am a mad woman but what I am trying to say is that you will find your own way of coping and believe me you will. I didn't think I could do it but here I am 15 months later having gotten through it by taking one day at a time. Don't look too far ahead and torture yourself with what may or may not happen. Just take one day at a time and you will find yourself doing it, getting through and being really brave. I too have suffered from bouts of depression all my adult life so I can empathise with you on that. Try not to let this situation bring you down. Keep positive, keep smiling, take all the help you can get and remember I am always here when you need a chat

Take care very best wishes, Mog, xx

Hello Mog

I'm struggling so badly.  I've been seen by gynaecologist and was sent for an MRI, now they are sending me for a CT scan.  I'm out of my mind with worry because I'm assuming that they saw something bad on the MRI.  I don't know what I'm asking really  I'm just reaching out because I feel so low.  I hope you are well.

Hiya,

Just thought I'd respond - it sounds like you had an awful experience with the private consultant, no wonder you feel anxious.

I was diagnosed with Endometrial (uterine ) cancer in February this year. I was treated by the NHS who were quick and efficient, despite cutbacks and shortages.

I started with abnormal bleeding in the October, thought it might be to do with peri menopause but it continued and then in December I started to flood randomly and got very anaemic. Had a transvaginal scan in Jan which showed what they thought was probably a fibroid but I had a very thick womb lining so was referred to see a Gynae consultant on a 2 week urgent pathway. My appt was 31.1.22 where they did a biopsy. By 14.2.22 I had a diagnosis of cancer, they did a MRI scan and I had a total hysterectomy ( including ovaries) on March 23rd. Everything was examined post op and my cancer was stage 1a grade 1 ( early and slow growing). It has all gone and I just have to have regular check ups. I've made a good recovery from the op, back at work and going camping next weekend!

I'm telling you this because , my experience is that the NHS act pretty quick where cancer is concerned. They would usually do a biopsy or hysteroscopy before confirming it is cancer. I found that the hardest part of all this is the not knowing / anxiety but honestly, I coped so much better once I knew what I was dealing with. 
Please don't be put off going back to your GP - they fast track any suspected cancer so you are seen very quickly. And there are loads of us out there living our best life after cancer

good luck xx

ps, one other thing - it's a good idea to take a friend / family member to the appt with you. I took my daughter and was really glad I did as I was so anxious I forgot half the information I was told so she was able to fill in the gaps when we got home!

Thank you for your reply.  I don't feel like I'm being told anything. I've had an ultrasound, which picked up the fibroid, blood tests and and MRI which apparently showed that the fibroid may be degenerating but they have not told me why I now have to have a CT scan.  I suffer with extreme anxiety, I have done most of my adult life and all this had literally ground my life to a halt. I'm trying to still care for my elderly mother which is hard at the best of times.  My grown up daughter has been amazing but all this is taking such a toll on her.  She doesn't have any brothers or sisters and her dad passed away 5 years ago, she has a wonderful partner who supports her but I'm so worried about her.

Hiya, 

The worst bit, in my experience, is waiting for tests and results. I found Iliterally had to distract myself by keeping busy at these times.

it does sound as though it would be a good idea to make a gps appt to see what support they can give you with your anxiety.  If and when you get a cancer diagnosis, then you should be allocated a specialist nurse who can support you and your family, I was amazed how much support there is out there.

Your daughter sounds lovely and very supportive, as is mine. I did worry about the impact on her as she doesn't have much of a relationship with her dad ( long story and has some caring responsibilities for her sister who has a learning disability ( her dads other daughter) but she has been remarkably resilient and my desire to protect her is what has given me the strength to remain positive and strong. 
The sorts of things that helped distract me are  crafts such as crochet, doing practical sorting out around the house in preparation for my surgery, talking to friends about other things than my health. I carried on working as best as I could up until my hysterectomy as this kept my mind off things. 
I also use positive affirmations to help manage anxiety and negative thoughts so I really tried to do this as much as I could. Every time I started thinking about the cancer / worrying , I would repeat to myself 'I am strong and I will survive this'. It's not a quick fix as such but over time it really helps! 
Best of luck and don't lose sight of the following

1. it isn't definitely cancer yet

2. If it is, there are many people who are out there who are survivors of cancer and are out there living good lives. I am one of them and no reason why you shouldn't be one either