Hi guys!

I'm literally loosing the will to live. I've had enough of my bladder. The anxiety and stress is ruining my life. I can't sleep nor can I eat. 

Im 36,very healthy, marathon runner,non drinker or smoker. No family history of bladder cancer.

I have suffered from frequent UTI's for over 15 years now. I dunno what sets them off,but in the past with investigations I was diagnosed with an overactive bladder. Usualy starts when I notice going to the toilet alot more. I've had cystoscopy,twice. Once 10 years ago,and another 3 years ago. Nothing was found.

I'm currently experiencing UTI like symptoms. Pain in the lower abdomen, pain in my groin, frequency of going to the toilet,pain in my inner thighs,buttocks arching,dull ache in my testis. Started last week,and thought it was getting better on its own,but yesterday wasn't getting any better. Went to A&E and given a prescription.  Last had this Christmas day,and before that September. 

In fairness,the urine infections I used to get a few years ago I was literally crying on the toilet. As felt I needed a wee,tiny drop came out,went back to bed,to need a wee again for another drop to come out. It's not as bad as that now.

Recently had blood tests done,along with a PSA test and all was clear/normal. Urine test came back negative for blood or infection. But being sent to the lab. Currently emailing my doctor's daily to get refferred to urology for further investigation. It's a nightmare getting appointment. 

I have severe anxiety when it comes to Cancer. I saw my mum go down hill 11 years ago with oesophagus cancer. It was horrible,and has scared me for life. Yes I admit I still need counselling,and will seek help once I get over this hurdle. I saw her die. I now have a daughter that's 3 years old,and want to protect her,and watch her grow up. So I plan to stay. Hence why I'm always on top of my health.

Went to A&E 3 times this week. On Monday my urine was clear, yesterday was clear. But today, Thursday showed small amounts of blood. 

I'm petrified that it's now cancer!!! I burst into tears in the doctor's office and she had to do calming techniques with me to chill me out. All I keep thinking is my little girl,and that I will be leaving her.

Symptoms now are real dull achey lower Abdomen,pelvic area. My balls hurt. Hurts to sit down. Feel sick. My legs ache. Back aches. Burns when urinatuing. 

I do have an ultrasound on Thursday at 14:45. I'm happy but freaking out at the same time.

I even spoke to the doctor and asked how quickly Bladder Cancer grows if nothing was there 3 years ago.

 Please any advice,support or reassurance is welocme. I like the forum and the help and support it provides.