Hi All!

I hope everyone managed to get at least a little bit of respite from the fear and anxiety this weekend.

Vicki - how was the beach hut? Hope that fresh air did the trick for you.

Take care of yourselves xx

I took the kids to the cinema on Saturday, and then had my sons 4th birthday party on Sunday. So I've managed to keep quite well distracted!! 
 

The breast clinic just called, and they've moved my results appointment to 9:40 on Thursday, instead of 11:40. So at least I don't have to worry all morning. It will be school run, then appointment!! Praying for benign results!! Xxx

Thanks Linze.  I had a call from the radiographer this morning and she told me that when they put the magseed in yesterday morning ready for surgery next week they've spotted more calcifications in a different area and they are postponing my surgery.  GUTTED!

She said it's either benign or DCIS.  Told me they expected my other calcs to be DCIS and they weren't expecting the tiny invasive.  (Not very reassuring).  She also said they are being extra cautious as they don't want any other surprises. They can't do my op until they know exactly what this is so ANOTHER biopsy early on Tuesday.  They will fast track results.

 I've lost trust in them as it's been missed.  I've had loads of mammograms.  She said my breasts are still so dense and active even though I'm 54 so it's my fault it seems that they didn't spot them earlier!!

I feel like I'm back at square 1!  Dreading next week!

Your message was very uplifting, thanks a lot. x

Oh Mary I'm sorry to hear this, you must be devastated. 

Wish I had some words of wisdom for you. I really hope that you aren’t faced with any more unexpected hurdles and that this new area of calcification is benign. 

Hope Tuesday goes OK and you get the results quickly so you know what's what and can move forward with your treatment plan. 

Thinking of you x

Oh Mary! 
 

You poor thing! I can't believe you're back to where you started! So they picked it up on the mammogram while putting on the magseeds?! That's crazy they didn't see them before! I hope you get these results quickly and get on with your op. Another biopsy too! That's tough. But think of it as they're being cautious and making sure they have everything! 
 

I know it's near impossible, but try to remain calm while you're waiting. There must be someone you can talk things through with about all this?? To get some reassurance while you're waiting?!

This really sucks! But you will get there and out the other side before you know it. 
 

Sending lots of love and prayers your way. Xxx

Thanks ladies, I'm grateful for you both replying with wise words and positivity.  I still haven't told my boys but I have now told a couple of close friends and family who have been amazing.  No-one knows unless they've been through it though do they and non of them have.  An aunt of mine is doing brilliantly 17 years on with only one recurrence and she had it pretty bad.  I try to focus on her positivity and success.

Yep, It's very much back to square one and I'm left reeling why it's been missed.  I want a second opinion.
Take care both of you xx

Hi Vicki. 

Wishing you all the best for your results and consultant appointment this morning. 

Really hope it goes well and you come away with a treatment plan and can see some light at the end of the tunnel 

Xxx

Thank you SO much for remembering and thinking of me. You are so lovely. Just on my way there now. 

How are you doing? Xxx

Good luck Vicki. Praying for you xxx

Hi ladies. Only just on way home now. So, I had to have another ultrasound and three more biopsies of the calcifications in my suspected DCIS. I also had to have an aspiration of a lymph node in my neck as it was flagged on my pet scan. However, I was riddled with covid at the time of the scan as I did a lateral flow test that evening that was positive. So, the consultant thinks that is why it has shown up. My tonsils showed inflammation too. Can't believe I've had covid on top of all of this too!! They need to absolutely ensure it is deffo DCIS before I get my treatment plan. However the rest of the scans showed clear lymph nodes and no distant spread. So, silver linings and all that. Honestly my poor boob, never had so many needles in it. Its only small too! Thanks for checking in on me. I'm so grateful to you both xxx

That's really good news, Vicki! I'm sure that node in you neck was just inflamed due to covid, or I doubt he would have suggested it as a possibility! And that totally makes sense! 
Your poor boob indeed! Mine is still super sore and bruised from my biopsy last Thursday!! 
 

So glad the rest of the scans were clear! I hope you can start with your treatment plan soon, and get on to the home stretch! It sounds like they're taking good care of you! Xxx

Mary, you're totally within your rights to get a second opinion, especially as you feel as though things may be being missed! I personally would too, even if just for peace of mind! That's really good news about your auntie! Keep focus on the positive outcome stories. 
 

You will know how and when the time is right to tell your boys. I don't remember my mom sitting and explaining anything to me, maybe she did but I've just blocked it out, or maybe she just didn't want to worry me. But I do remember seeing her crying when she must have had her diagnosis. But she just played it down to me, saying she was worried as she had found a lump, but she was sure it was fine. Other than that, I just saw her carrying on as normal as possible. I wish she would have confided in me a bit more. But I was only about 12/13.
 

I hope you get some clear answers, and positive steps forward very soon! Xxx

Mary, you're totally within your rights to get a second opinion, especially as you feel as though things may be being missed! I personally would too, even if just for peace of mind! That's really good news about your auntie! Keep focus on the positive outcome stories. 
 

You will know how and when the time is right to tell your boys. I don't remember my mom sitting and explaining anything to me, maybe she did but I've just blocked it out, or maybe she just didn't want to worry me. But I do remember seeing her crying when she must have had her diagnosis. But she just played it down to me, saying she was worried as she had found a lump, but she was sure it was fine. Other than that, I just saw her carrying on as normal as possible. I wish she would have confided in me a bit more. But I was only about 12/13.
 

I hope you get some clear answers, and positive steps forward very soon! Xxx

Thanks Linze x

Xxx

Hi Mary,

How did your second biopsy go? Praying you don't have anymore hold ups and you can get your op done and dusted ASAP! Xxx

Hi Linze, how are you?  Just checking my emails and saw your notification.  Thank you so much.

Had second biopsy early this morning it was a bit of a trial tbh.  The radiologist said she was determined to get the calcifications out and she did!  Saw a large cluster of calcs in the sample when they put it up on screen and one single little beggar!  She went in 3 times and I had 2 other radiologists and a Dr in and out.  They certainly gave me the full treatment!  I'm grateful for that but I've got another weeks wait for results - next Wednesday.  What will be will be but I'm scared they will find a higher grade.

Nurse was reassuring but we won't know until then.  I've decided I want to have a mastectomy.  These calcifications seem to be everywhere and I've got 2 clusters.  I can't risk that and whilst I'm scared of surgery I'd rather it came off.  How will they get clear margins, I'm not large busted?!

They haven't given me a date for surgery but with everything to do again I can't see it being for at least another 2 weeks.  
 

I feel a bit more resigned to it all now.  That feeling of sheer panic does seem to be subsiding and I suppose I'm getting used to being in this process.

I'll let you know next week how it goes.  Hope you are okay and everyone else is doing well too, with hopefully some reassuring news.

xx

Oh bless you Mary,

I would feel the same about the mastectomy!! If my results had gone the other way, I would have pushed for it, regardless of the size. I think I would just want it all gone! I know it's a much bigger surgery, but I think you'll feel more relief after it. 
Keep us updated, and I pray this is the end of your investigation and you can get on with scheduling the surgery. 
I'm glad to read that you're feeling less anxious and just facing what's to come. That's a great and brave attitude to have, and a fighters spirit!! Keep that going. 
 

Take care. Xxx