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Newly diagnosed with Metastatic BC

Jennet
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I was told I have MBC yesterday- a routine mammogram found a swelling in my armpit and a biopsy shows cancer in three lymph nodes. No lump in my breast that could be found on the mammogram. So tomorrow I'm off for a CT scan and Sunday for an MRI and then I guess I start treatment.

im really interested to learn from women who've been there before me - what questions should I ask? What treatment options are there - what's currently bothering me is what to do about work (I'm self employed). Cancel everything for the next few months? Tell no-one or everyone? 
i have a fear that if people know about the cancer I might not get any work in the future- and then I think, I might not have a long future anyway, so best to spend time with my family. I'm nearly 60. And I feel fine - scared but otherwise fine.

love to know how others have embarked on this journey and what has helped you. Sisterly love to you all x

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    Hi Jennet,

    I'm so sorry I missed your post on here.

    If I were you I would hold off on making any swift decisions about the future yet. You are the important one here so any decisions need to be made in your own time.

    I have been living with my MBC (invasive ductal carcenoma) for ten years as of July 11th this year. It had spread throughout both of my lungs and my liver. Treatments are improving all the time and my constant refrain is that I hope to "surf on the wave of new treatments".

    Alongside my medical treatment, there are loads of things which I am certain have helped me. For the first few years I spent rather a lot of time researching things to keep myself as healthy as I could so that I could make best use of the expensive treatments I was given. I have slipped recently though and have revisited a lot of terrible habits (I have become rather complacent I think and I need a huge kick up the bum!). So I'm always happy to chat because it keeps me focussed.

    Looking forward to chatting with you,

    Sisterly love appreciated thank you (and returned to you with extra healing wishes),

    Mary

    xxx

     

  • Offline in reply to mare

    Dear Mary

    Your post came at the best time. Just having a wobble, and so the thought that you've been along this road for 10 years this summer is enormously helpful. Whether or not that's the case for me, I know it's possible.

    I will know more about my own cancer after the MRI on Sunday and meeting the consultant next week, and it is at the moment the waiting which is the hardest part. Would love to know what you've learned, and tried - right now I am practicing mindfulness, noticing the small and lovely things, laughing a lot, eating healthily and also having a glass of wine in the evenings (because my French buddy told me that is almost prescribed where she is) and talking to my granddaughters who are 3. Maisie said to me very seriously "Grandma, we don't say *** sake, we say oh dear me". Since I hadn't said FFS, this came somewhat out of the blue. But oh dear me doesn't quite cut it at the moment. *** sake, this is grim. But to be got through, as you are proving. Thank you for responding

    Jennet (this is my middle name - it is a witch's name and I rarely tell anyone, but now felt a good time to use it) xxxx

  • Offline in reply to Jennet

     

    Hi Jennet,

    A very warm welcome to our forum, although I'm srry to hear why you're here. I hope that your CT and MRI scans can shed more light on your problem. What provision you need for the next few months will depend upon what these tests find. I have had 2 bouts of primary cancer for the past 12 years, but I lost my mum to secondary breast cancer.

    I am self employed and found my cancer difficult to plan for. I never expected to be so totally exhausted after both surgeries.I employed a locum to help me out. Could you do something similar? I was the same age as you when diagnosed and, am still running my practice. There is no way of pre-determining how you'll feel during treatment, as we all respond differently and react differently to the various treatments. You will know more when you speak with your consultant next week.

    You will also know about the treatment options being considered and, will find that this is when your questions will come. I have always found it helpful to write down a list of questions to ask in advance of any consultation. I also involved my husband in drawing up these questions, as he often had different questions that I hadn't thought about.

    I have found it easier to tell everyone about my cancer, but in a matter of fact and positive way, because I found it very hard to take the pitying looks and 'poor you' attitude that I met at first. The more positive I've been about my treatment (even if I don't always feel like this), the more matter of fact my friends and relatives have felt too. This is a scary time and, if you bottle it up within yourself, it will only eat away at you.

    I love the comments from your granddaughter. I am sure that 'oh dear me' doesn't cut how you feel at present, but 'out of the mouths of babes ---'. They really are so refeshing at times!

    I am glad to see that Mare has joined you here. She is truly an inspiration to many and I'm sure that you will find it helpful to benefit from her experience.

    Do please keep in touch and let us know how your scans go. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

     

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Thank you Jolamine. That is so helpful and kind. I'm really blown away by the kindness of people right now.

     

  • Offline in reply to Jennet

     

    Hi Jennet,

    You will find this forum invaluable. I certainly did when I was first diagnosed. There are many here who are going through what you are and hopefully others will come along to chat to you soon.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

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    Hi Jennet

    I would have thought they would wait until CT/MRI results before staging your cancer, where the cancerous lymph nodes in other parts of the body? 

  • Offline in reply to Magpiemaggie

    I don't really understand the question. The lymph nodes are in my underarm.

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