Cancer Research UK main site

Dad not being offered any treatment.

DevotedDaughter01
Offline

Hi,

 

My Dad recently had a stroke, was discharged from hospital after a few days with weakness is his left side, and then readmitted a week later when his condition deteriorated. Whilst investigating the cause for this he was found to have had multiple further strokes and 'fatty lumps' were also found on his kidney and liver. A liver biopsy was performed and we heard back from the Doctor today following the MDT. They have said the biopsy showed secondary liver cancer but due to the strokes they will not be investigating any further to try and identify the primary and are not offering any treatment. He is being sent home with palliative care and we have been told the end is not imminent but also that he doesn't have years. I can't get my head around the fact that they are not prepared to offer any treatment, I had assumed it would be Dad's decision whether he wanted to go down that path. Is this usual practice? Would it be wise to get a second opinion? I would be really grateful to hear from anyone with a similar experience.

 

How is it possible to give a prognosis without knowing the primary cancer? Although I appreciate 'not imminent but not years' is really vague and not much of a prognosis. I just want to know what to expect and whether we have got a few good months to make some memories or whether it's going to be downhill all the way now. Still in shock and don't even know how to begin processing this.

 

Thanks in advance to anyone who can help.

  • Offline

    Hi DevotedDaughter01

     

    Sorry to read about your dad. My uncle died 10 months ago due to secondary cancer (stage 4) and there was no treatment available for him as his cancer was too advanced and as he was elderly with comorbidities the team did not think he would survive chemo. My uncle's wife also died of stage 4 cancer but she did receive chemo and died two weeks later, my uncle lasted 4 months without chemo.

    The prognosis is based on the stage of the cancer and sometimes difficult to know the primary as the cancer breaks up and distributes to other sites of the body and therefore difficult to know where it originated from if it's no longer there.

    You and yours must be reeling from this and it's an awful position to be in. Personally, I would look to making most of the time I has with him. x

     

  • Offline in reply to Magpiemaggie

    Thank you for replying. I'm so sorry about your Uncle and his wife.  It really is just heartbreaking

  • Offline in reply to DevotedDaughter01

    It is the worst experience when it happens isn't it, your world falls in. 

    My dad was in relatively good health when he was diagnosed with 'a touch of' prostate cancer, they said was common for his age and not unexpected. They then got a shock at how badly it had badly spread, bones included. They offered him hormone therapy but nothing else, based on its spread and his age, surgery or chemo was not an option.

    It is Very hard to take in what they tell you at the time, I found out in A&E and was in total shock too, especially at the words inoperable and untreatable.  Take some time and see if you can ask some more questions about what is best once you have had time to recover from the immediate shock a little. 

    Do take any care or help  offered, we had none, I don't know why and it was why we ended up in A&E one day which was traumatic in itself.

    Also don't forget to talk to him and hug him lots and treat him as normally as you can,  not just about his diagnosis.  I think that's why my dad didn't tell me, he wanted a semblance of normality ...

     

     

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.