Hi DevotedDaughter01

Sorry to read about your dad. My uncle died 10 months ago due to secondary cancer (stage 4) and there was no treatment available for him as his cancer was too advanced and as he was elderly with comorbidities the team did not think he would survive chemo. My uncle's wife also died of stage 4 cancer but she did receive chemo and died two weeks later, my uncle lasted 4 months without chemo.

The prognosis is based on the stage of the cancer and sometimes difficult to know the primary as the cancer breaks up and distributes to other sites of the body and therefore difficult to know where it originated from if it's no longer there.

You and yours must be reeling from this and it's an awful position to be in. Personally, I would look to making most of the time I has with him. x

Thank you for replying. I'm so sorry about your Uncle and his wife.  It really is just heartbreaking

It is the worst experience when it happens isn't it, your world falls in. 

My dad was in relatively good health when he was diagnosed with 'a touch of' prostate cancer, they said was common for his age and not unexpected. They then got a shock at how badly it had badly spread, bones included. They offered him hormone therapy but nothing else, based on its spread and his age, surgery or chemo was not an option.

It is Very hard to take in what they tell you at the time, I found out in A&E and was in total shock too, especially at the words inoperable and untreatable.  Take some time and see if you can ask some more questions about what is best once you have had time to recover from the immediate shock a little. 

Do take any care or help  offered, we had none, I don't know why and it was why we ended up in A&E one day which was traumatic in itself.

Also don't forget to talk to him and hug him lots and treat him as normally as you can,  not just about his diagnosis.  I think that's why my dad didn't tell me, he wanted a semblance of normality ...