Hi Faye, 

Sorry to read your post.  My Mum, 82, was diagnosed yesterday - she is also Stage 4 though believes she is Stage 3. Do I tell her?  Not sure, thinking maybe I should just encourage her to phone the nurses and ask some more questions.

They are not offering any treatment for her, saying she could not tolerate it and would diminsh her quality of life.  I was wondering/hoping  really - does anyone have experience of any therapy which might help her breathing?

I did Google, though wish I had not.  But with no treatment on offer i am just looking for best quality of life.  All help gratefully received.

PS I posted on your post, not to hijack you, but to make sure we can find each other.  I hope that's OK xxx

hi im sorry about your mum my mum too has been diagnosed with stage 4 andme too havenot told her the stage would not help her it would not do her good.,  my mum, is awaiting a meet with oncologist but she is not very fit im hoping thjey offer her xx how is your mum doing why do they no offer her any treatment xx breathing is hard to see try zappain regularly apparently it works as good as oromorph and can help the breathing if taken regularly just getting my mum, to take it but she worries she will get addicted bless her but she is trying it and she says it makes the pain a little better so she is going with it at the mo xx

hi im sorry about your mum my mum too has been diagnosed with stage 4 andme too havenot told her the stage would not help her it would not do her good.,  my mum, is awaiting a meet with oncologist but she is not very fit im hoping thjey offer her xx how is your mum doing why do they no offer her any treatment xx breathing is hard to see try zappain regularly apparently it works as good as oromorph and can help the breathing if taken regularly just getting my mum, to take it but she worries she will get addicted bless her but she is trying it and she says it makes the pain a little better so she is going with it at the mo xx

Since Mum has been on the steroids she is perking up as she cant eat which means more energy, but very frail as she lost so much weight. We are seeing Oncology tomorrow to find out what treatment she can have if any. The worrying part is the malignant pleural effusion which has shown cancer cells in her lung fluid. I guess tomorrow we will have some more information. 

We just have to take each day as it comes which is hard as humans do like to predictability x

Thank you xx

i did not tell her and we've agreed she's actually no sicker today than before she knew. So we're taking one day at a time and booking time in together xx

why is this community so much easier than talking to my family?

Because we can talk as we feel things and not worry about upsetting others. It is also good to talk to people going through the same thing as you are or who have experienced it. Perhaps it is better for your Mum then if she does not know, I think sometimes the information can be too much for some people.

So Mum has been told she would have 6 months max if she does not have treatment but she has been given the option of combined chemotherapy and immunotheraphy starting in the next 2 weeks, we hope this will prolong her life so that we can create more memories together.

It is hard to believe but Mum said she is feeling better now than 6 months ago. Although at the hospital today her legs gave way and she fell down the stairs, I don't know how I managed to catch her and pull her up, I think she would have broken bones if not. The whole thing made me feel so sad as her muscles are getting weaker and weaker :( I still feel so in shock, I just don't know when this is going to sink in.

xxx