Hello there,

I am a mum. And my cancer is different to your mum's cancer so we cannot compare treatments.

But, I am also "terminal". Medics also describe mine as "metastatic", or "stage 4".

Back in July 2011 I asked, and was given, a "median" for my disease (as it was then) of 6 months. It was a terrible shock for us all as I had never been ill before that. No signs except shortness of breath. Cancer had spread to both of my lungs and my liver and I had no idea.

I also had rounds of chemo, intended to stabilise and shrink my disease. It worked.

After the chemo I was put on tablets in an effort to keep my cancer stable still.

It is now over 9 years since then and, although I will always have a "stage 4" or "terminal" diagnosis, I plan to live on as I am now. My cancer remains dormant and my prognosis has improved. In fact nobody really knows, it's all estimates based on statistics isn't it?

An oncologist professor in London once said to me "it's not terminal till you're dead". And I believed him.

And modern treatments are improving all the time aren't they?

What a lovely daughter you are to come and ask these questions. You show wonderful concern for your mum. She is very lucky to have you there. Please make sure you are looking after yourself in all of this too. A cancer diagnosis can put a terrible strain on a patient's family too. My own children have all struggled and needed help. Please ask for help for yourself too if you need it.

I'm always about for a chat, as are lots of other people on here, and the nurses are fabulous to ask those questions. 

As long as your mum trusts her medical team (and they're mostly pretty amazing I think), you can rely on them to tell her everything she needs to know.

Sending you huge hugs (socially distanced of course!) And all best wishes

Mary

Xxx

Hi there, Not a medic but know that if the specialists said it was terminal then it remains sadly terminal unless they revise their prognosis, i.e their estimate of your Mum's life expectancy. Chemo does normally shrink tumours, which is why they give it. But it will not make all the tumours go away. Unfortunately there are alway a few cancer cells which are resistant, and as they divide the tumour starts to grow again. 

Having said that, 12 months is only an estimate. It may be shorter, it could be longer. In the case of a few patients, much longer. But my advice would be to ensure that your Mum is as comfortable as possible. And, if your Mum agrees, talk to her doctors privately. Then you will get all the answers you want to your questions. 

Hello some people know my story  I was diagnosed with breast cancer stage 4 spread in my lungs.liver and kidney.That was in May 2019!!Nobody told me i am terminal or the prognosis and I have never asked.I am on nostop weekky chemk since August 2019 but I am requesting a 4 weeks break every 3 months.My latest scan showed no cancer in my liver and kidney and breast.The only cancer is in my lungs but the nodules still keep shrinking.

I hate the word terminal and shouldn't be used for people who still having treatment.Miracle do happens and people here live many years

I am treating my cancer as chronic like diabetes and chemo is insulin.

So please stay positive and dont concentrate of time countdown.

Denise

Hi there,

I am am so sorry to hear about your mother's bad news.

I have Stage 4 jejunal cancer which my Consultant called "incurable" which is a better word than terminal. I have had a year of chemotherapy so far. The secondaries in my abdomen and lungs shrank for the first and second three monthly scans and were stable for the third and fourth scan.The Consultant made it clear that it would not be cured and the tumours will start to grow again. 

I have been given 2 to 4 years which I'm hoping to stretch a bit longer. I have no symptoms yet so am trying to enjoy life and appreciate every day. I hope your mother manages to beat the odds and prolong her time. 

Its good she she has your support and I wish you and your mother all the best. 

N

Thank you for your reply so sorry your also going through this sending love to you x 

Thank you for your reply sorry your also going through this sending you love  xx

Thank you for your reply  x x