Hi Lisa,

I can see you have a lot of questions so I just wanted to give you our nurses telephone number so you can give them a quick ring and talk things through. They are cancer specialists so you can ask them about anything you're unsure of. They're available on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m.

Wishing you and your husband all the best for tomorrow.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Oh billy you make me chuckle. 
Ive been upset today because I've convinced myself that it has spread and the nurse didn't say. When my partner was asking her questions she was flicking through so I think she just didn't say it. She also said that my partner didn't have to have chemo to discuss with the consultant. 
I feel ashamed to feel so weak and unable  to control my panic emotions and have convinced myself of the worst tomorrow. 
I couldn't eat anything at the moment at all. 
the reason I'm confused now is because I rang the nurse this morning and explained the situation. I explained the t4 lymph node locally advanced . She said it sounds more like a stage 3 111 . But I said that I asked the nurse and she said stage 4 . Which means it has spread.

and that's why I'm confused and so upset. If the nurse forgot to tell us I will not know what to do.
I've got to pull myself together as feel horrendous today. Wish I hadn't rang now x 

Hi becci,

thabk you for your lovely post and it's so nice that you find the time with everything you have going on. Google is helpful sometimes but I think my mind is totally gone now. A week of an emotional roller coaster rides have taken their toll. 
I'm not sure how you feel but one minute I'm up and then down , crying, laughing , motivated couch potato ,

I look at my partner and just get choked . And it has been like that for the last week. 
and to think the upset we had last thursdsy is just going to happen again this Thursday. 
 

hipe you have a lovely afternoon 

Lisa 

Hi David

i took your advice and rang the helpline this morning. It was so very hard to do. I explained the situation and how I'm so confused. I am. I'm afraid it didn't help much. So we will find out tomorrow and at least that will be that. 
thank you for your advice . 
I just have to find a way through this as I'm not much help to my partner at all

thank you David 

Hi Lisa,

Didn't get my results today...

Going for a long long walk otherwise sleeping will be hard as I think I might have to wait a whole other week.

Sorry to see you've had such a tough day too. 

Wishing you and hubby well for tomorrow.

Hugsx

Hi sorry you didn't get your results today. The waiting is terrible isn't it. 
you can see the effect it has had on me. 
my day has been poor. All the positivity from yesterday had completely gone with the worry of tomorrow. It's like we've had the worst news already and are just going to get it again tomorrow. 
I can't see any positives now. I've just had a cry with my other half and he is so lovely it's just not fair

not much sleep in this house tonight me thinks

thank you for thinking of me and my best wishes to you agsin

hugs x

Hi Lisa,

Thank you so much for your reply. I'm leaving in a few minutes and may not be back until late - no internet when out.

I really am talking a long long walk...

Yes, uncertainty can be the worst thing.

Hopefully tomorrow will help you move on... And I am so hoping for the best for you.!

Is there anything you can do to keep busy tonight? Please try and sleep because otherwise you will find it hard to focus tomorrow. 

Do you still have to take your doggy for a walk? Are you cooking dinner?

So glad your hubby is so lovely. 

Try and have some good moments together this evening.

Sending you ever so many good wishes. I know it is very very hard. 

Take care,

more hugsx

Oh thank you so much for your note, Billy! 

I know I'm going to have to wait at least another week now because of when the clinics are and my results are almost certainly with the MDT (that caused a delay last time and then there was all the faff over margins and whether to re-op). 

At least I have another week to catch up before more surgery if needed.

Maybe I should also buy myself a fishing rod. We don't have a garden but I could take up fishing!

Knowing my luck I'd still be shaking and would end up falling in.

Thanks for all the humour. You're keeping us all going and I'm full of admiration for all you do for Bren especially given all your own health issues.

Take carex

Billy,

can I just say I'm so pleased we've caught up in this chat and as our other friend had said I too cannot believe the things you do for your other half and with your own health issues. 
I wish I had a little bit of your strength and whatever you say I'm not eating my goldfish!! Although they are really big I've had them for six years!!

lisa x