Just remember your new family are always here for you through the bad and the good.

Billy xx 

Thank you all for your lovely messages. I'm dreading tomorrow as fearing my worst fears will come true.

can I ask a question? I know that people aren't doctors but they did operate and take most of the tumour away they think . Would that be a positive? The nurse just said that they weren't sure the margin is clear enough ?

wrll st least I think that's what they said , I haven't said this had been going on since September and started with appendicitis so I think that's why we shocked it hadn't come to light before 

thank you

lisa x

Hi everyone

i rang the nurse and explained all my fears and worries so at least I made the call 

I'm still doubting that it had spread and the nurse didn't tell us but then she said locally advanced

its going over and over and over in my mind.

the nurse did say that sometimes a regional node spread may count as spread but she did say locally. The nurse didn't understand that 

oh dear another day of turmoil 

Lisa x

Hi Lisa,

Logged on briefly as wanted to check you were okay. 

Yes, at least you rang nurse. 

I can't answer your surgery question because I don't know what the original surgery was and how extensive but I really feel that is something that should be on your list of questions for tomorrow not today.

How is the list coming along? Make sure that everything you are unclear about is on there.

Are you still going out sometime?

Really hope you can find some peace. I am very nervous today and keeping as busy possible as I think it's today I might get my results. But also I'm trying to get all the jobs done in case I have to go back to hospital very soon.

Really hoping you don't spend the whole day in turmoil.

Thinking of you!

Hugsxx

Oh god I'm thinking if you and your results. I really am and I hope it's as good as it can be

im not doing much today heart and head not in it 

thinking if you x

Lisa just finished putting weekly shop away and tidying up again i decided to get some fresh fish as well probably have it for dinner. Hope you're going to the garden centre get plenty then gardening will keep you busy throughout the day.. 

Best wishes 

Billy xx 

Hi, sorry to really annoy you all. If the cancer had spread to the peritoneum or anywhere else would my hubby have been told an m number? Or is that what is meant by locally advanced ? 
if no m number was mentioned would that be normal if it is locally advanced ? 
rhe nurse said to me it may be classed as stage 4 because it had spread to regional lymph node. Without the dreaded google what does that mean? 
I'm even more concerned now 

I wish it was this time tomorrow x
 

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. 

If it had gone outside the local area it would be M----whatever even peritoneum would be an M because its still a different part..

Stage 4 is what the original tumor was.

I had a lovely bit of steamed fish for my dinner with some new potatoes. Still haven't tried gold fish yet.. Might pop over tonight with a net, 

Hope you've been to garden centre and got something nice for garden. 

....... Billy xx 

Have you made a question list for tomorrow. 

I totally agree that it has added to the stress. No question. 
I too still reach out to google when I should be trying harder to sleep! Ive found useful things online, general information on my cancer type and what to expect as I embark on chemotherapy, but I also found lots of other information that raised fears and doubts and Contradicted other information. It is a mine field. Since having the info from my doctor, I have at least been able to focus my googling needs to specific topics, searches that might yield useful information. For example, my chemo regime is something called A+AVD, which is the acronym for the drug combo of the chemo. I could google that and find out about the drugs and their side effects, how they work inside the body and why they are best for my cancer type. 
actually it's a newer regime and not a particularly common one to be used, so there was limited info on it. I spend many hours digging around online for more information - all I could find was just the medical study for the use of AAVD. It led me to sign up here to ask others about things. In the end I found a couple of reliable and informative websites that had some info and I saved these sites and refer to them when I want to re-check/re-read.. which I do all the time! It's better than just randomly googling over and over. so basically what I'm trying to say is that, after thursdays appointment, you may be better placed with your google-addiction to at least focus your searches and discount all the information that is not related to your partners diagnosis. It may feel more productive and you are likely to find more useful advice, but you still be cautious and only take on board knowledge from reliable websites.

keep trying clear your mind. One day to go! Xx