Hi Ladyf. 

Hope you don't mind me sticking my nose in. My darling wife has Alzheimers and parkinsons she's also had at least 5 TIA'S mini strokes and got a brain infection.

She can hardly move herself about at all, i support her to move or us wheelchair or hoists, have to feed her and clean her after toilet. Get her meds down her. i had to promise to look after her before she'd marry me because she's nearly 14years older than me, but we've been married 48 years so haven't done bad.

If your wondering why I'm on a cancer forum I'm the one with cancer prostate, gone to lymph nodes, spine, ribs, pelvis and a lung. Been on palliative care since February 2016, just living with my uninvited guest living as normal life as possible. Sticking to my promise. 

You have to be positive i know its not easy but you can still fight. And keep fighting.

Good luck on Thursday and remember POSITIVE thinking and actions. 

Billy 

Thank you so much for replying. It's so wonderful that you can be so positive.

i am trying. Honestly. It's just like a wave that comes over me. I look at my partners face and my heart sinks. Then I'm up positive again, it carries on all day. And at night I just google. And worry and google. 
I'm hoping everyone feels like this and I'm not going mad.

If I could have a little if your strength please

thanks

lisa

I'll see if [@Chriss]‍ will pop on to have a word with you, we all have inner strength it's just getting it started, and not thinking to to far ahead day to day is best for anyone on the forum.

And PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T GOOGLE, switch it off and watch TV or something but no Google. 

Billy 

Billy,

that would be so good. Thank you so much. The only thing that is numbing the worry is alcohol. I can concentrate on anything and I do want to be strong for my partner. 
I feel so awful feeling like this when my partner is quietly carrying on 

thank you again 

Hello Lady1966,

                       l have just read your post and can fully identify with the level of your anxieties,having been there previously.l had stage 4 bowel cancer that decided to visit my liver,and had resections of both,and am living a full and active life 7 years on

 l cannot tell you everything will be alright,but l can tell you we are all individual, and what you do and how you approach things from here on ,can make a remendous difference to the eventual outcome.Big challenges are not insurmountable,they just require a big response to counter their effects.Your husband will have the benefit of a team of skilled professionals bringing all their expertise to bear to help him to recover.He needs a calm,stressfree as possible, quiet and focused determination, along with your support to travel the journey of Chemo and recovery.Its important to find the happiness and positivity in every day.

                As others have said you cannot change what has been,but you change what is to come, for me coming to that acceptance early on and just getting on with going forward really was the biggest thing.Realising that l could bring light onto my darker thoughts brightened my days to the point where shadows no longer existed in my mind

                                                               l really hope your path forward becomes easier,and by your path l very much mean both of you, since it is harder for those standing on the touchline, so be sure to recognise that you need support as well as giving,

                                                                             be safe,

                                                                                            David

As

Thank you David, 

for taking the time to reply to my ramblings . I'm focusing on the negatives, the words  advanced, spread to lymph nodes and I'm thinking the worst. I have to deal with this for my partners sake. I will, if I could get over the sick feeling every minute of every day then I will be ok. It's so encouraging to read your encounter with stage 4 and that it can be lived  with . When you hear from real  people who are living through this and not just statistics on an internet page it really does lift my spirits. I'm hoping to be able to tell all you lovely people our journey through this as we have something in common and it's so nice to connect with people 

thank you so much

Lisa 

Glad your getting more people coming on to give you a proper idea, rather than Google, which is always the worst case scenario, 

I didn't say before but I'm stage 4. As i say there's loads of us on the forum surviving and getting cured., as David says the family can suffer as well the patient has loads of people helping and looking after their best interests. But it can hit wives and husbands hard and alot struggle to cope.

Is it worth having a word with macmillan or Marie curie just seeing if it'll ease things a bit. 

Your in our thoughts and our prayers. 

Billy 

Hello Lisa,

                just to say that you cannot ignore the negatives,you just need to balance them with a positive. When l was told my diagnosis,the initial shock was quickly replaced by the knowledge that the severity had been recognised and there would be no half hearted response to the treatment.When the chemo and radio pulled seven bells of doodah out of me l was encouraged by thinking what it was doing to my unwanted visitor.

        We are blessed with minds that control our spirits,used well they can be absolutely formidible.When you are having bad moments,just remember there are still good ones there,you just have not brought them out at that time

                                        l send a big hug and will keep my eye on future postings,

                                                                                                                              David

Thank you so much although I want Thursday to come I don't but at least it will be clearer then

please keep in touch I need to know people care

lisa