My husband has just been diagnosed with cancer, and what with all of our children living in their own homes and currently self isolating because of corona virus we don't know how to tell them
I was told of my parent's cancer over the phone...and it was obviously not the news I wanted to hear but, living hundreds of miles from my family......there wasn't any other option then xx
It was OK...except...the manner in which it was delivered to me still haunts me today (it was my cousin....she called....said she needed to speak to me....the went very quiet (leaving me saying...hello? What's going on? Hello?) before she almost screamed at me that the scans had showed cancer...I mean she was in hysterics). This obviously did nothing good for my anxiety (I knew she was with my mother at a hospital appointment). The thought of the call still makes me anxious years on and so.........if it is over the phone......your children will likely remember the call for the rest of their lives........and so perhaps this could be considered xx
I know that is easier said than done. Speaking from the point of view of an adult child of a parent with cancer....I wished I had been informed from my cousin in a more sensitive and calmer way rather than sheer panic/screaming....that was distressing alone...I would have coped much better in the days that followed xx
Than you so much for your reply, that's must've been awful for you to hear over the phone. My husband and I have already agreed that we wouldn't tell them over the phone because like you one of our children suffers with anxiety at the best of times.
once again thank you for reading my post and kindly replying it is comforting to know someone cares
Hi kaliki i hate to say it but there's no easy way. As soon as cancer is mentioned panic starts. Probably tell them he's got cancer but got to have more tests to confirm everything and you get back to them with details and treatment. If you mention treatment thares a chance it'll ease their thoughts a bit. Good luck and best wishes.
Hi Kaliki, I echo what others have said. In addition, big factors are how serious it is, and how much you know about the cancer. Your children will initially be very shocked, but will then respond differently if, say, it is a Stage 1 cancer with a very high chance of a cure, rather than a more serious case. Your husband has just been diagnosed, so more tests may be required to find out how serious it is. So you may wish to wait until you have more infromation before telling the children. But only you can decide if this is best for you and your husband. This is a very distressing time for you. Support from the children will be very valuable to you. And they may pick up on your distress anyway, even if they are only talking to you on the phone because of the corona virus. I wish you the very best. Harry
Thank you for your reply Harry. We got all his results yesterday after many various tests and I agree it is better to tell them now we have more details and what they will do to try and help him. Although we are not physically seeing our children at the moment it has been so very hard keeping this from them and I know that if we hadn't been having to self isolate this would've come out by now. once again thank you for replying to me.
Thank you so much for your reply, I think we know it has come to the time where we know we have to tell them. My husband has had all his results and treatment plans explained, so hopefully this will cushion the blow a bit for them all.
