Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 3 replies
  • Views 311 views
  • Users 0 members are here

this waiting malarky is the worst

figgipudding
Offline

what can i say  we all belong to a forum that people dont want to join but im happy because it means there are lots of us to vent to and find out how everyones doing and have loads of maral support ,

exactly 1 week ago my life changed you go to the clinic hoping for the best but deep down you know something is up straight away your hoping that its just the doctor in there and he hasnt got a nurse with him coz then you know its not good news and your gut feeling was right but as soon as you walk in and there she is already looking at you with sorry eyes ,you sit down ready to be told the worst news ever then at first you hear nothing you see his lips move but hear nothing so you ask him to repeat it ,

im sorry ms figgins you have grade 2 invaisive ductal cancer , but its good news one of our tests has come back and we can give you hormone tablets to stop it getting bigger 

erm great im numb even though i was expecting it   you never actually expect the words 

but unfortunatly you have busy boobs and were worried about your other one because of dark patches on it were waiting for some more tests and you should hear something within 3 weeks ,, 3 friggging weeks  how am i meant to wait for 3 weeks knowing i have cancer  i want it out of me   i want things to kill it    this wait is doing me in sorry to go on and on but im gona go mad if i dont   

 

thanks for listenng 

  • Offline

    Hi, 2 weeks ago I went to exactly the same, only I work in the hospital clinics so when I saw the nurse going into the room before my I knew I was doomed the waiting between tests is really hard, I'm waiting for surgery on the 19th March, then I'll be waiting for the histology report to see if they have got it all and if it's in the lymph nodes, then waiting to start chemotherapy. 
    Ive not told a lot of people at work, just a few close friends until I have surgery, some days I can carry on as normal but then other days I have a bit of a meltdown and can't stop crying keep busy, accept any help from friends or family and go on a much as you want love. 
    xxx

  • Offline in reply to AngieG

    Thanks for answering  it's awful they don't realise we want it out of us we want all they can give is to stop it coming back I'd rather them say to me we got to take both boobs off  reconstruct and give chemo then you feel like you have a fighting chance xx

  • Offline in reply to figgipudding

    Hi

    No matter what sort of cance we have or how bad it is, I think we all agree waiting is the worst time of all. Once we know our reults are we see better equiped to deal with any bad news.  

    But waiting means our brain goes in to overdrive and always seems to imaging the worst case scenario. I suppose it the brains way of getting us prepared for any bad news. 

    Take care and best wishes to you, Brian

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.