Hi Ybird, try not to focus too much on how long he’s got, the answer to that question is often incorrect anyway and people often live well past their expectation no matter what the prognosis, for that reason we never asked that question.

There is a true account of a man who was given a prognosis of 3 months due to a brain mass they found on a scan while looking at something else, he wasn’t aware of the tumour, sure enough he died 3 months later, yet afterwards they noticed a scan in his medical records from when he was a child and that mass was actually there then.

My dad has recently been diagnosed with late stage cancer also. I feel better equipped to handle it this time as I went through the same thing with my mum 5 years ago when she was 65.  With her I was a complete mess, couldn’t eat or sleep, I was constantly anxious and just couldn’t function well at all.

I realised I was no help to her in that state though and she really needed me to be her rock with all that was going on at the time. When I became more positive she did too and it helped her to cope better, especially during long stays in the hospital for repeated sepsis attacks. 

There was no treatment available for my mums stage 4 colon cancer after she had a right hemicolectomy, they had cut it out but it was back within two months and much bigger. Do your research, knowledge is definately power when it comes to cancer and remember there are people out there who were given the same diagnosis as your dad and are still alive many years later. Try not to let your mind go down that path unless it needs to. 

To stop the negative chatter and help get some sleep, I found guided meditations and guided self hypnosis worked wonders. There are lots available free on YouTube, just find one that makes you feel good and helps bring back your balance. Take care of yourself and your dad and stay strong x 

Thank you lyndy and davek for your replies. It helped a lot to hear from you. I'm now over the shock and trying to think positive. I've focused on getting my dad to adjust his diet incorporating more healthy foods and I'm cooking some healthy meals for him. I've done a lot of meditation but I needed a bit more help so I got sleeping tablets and after a couple of good nights sleep I'm feeling much better. My dad says he doesn't feel ill yet, which is great, and we had a visit from a nurse who also said my dad seems in good shape at the moment so just waiting for the oncologist's prognosis now. Wish you both all the best in your journeys, thanks so much xxxx

I’m so glad to hear you’re feeling a bit better, I also put my dad on a new diet, he’s having mostly plant based meals and after 3 weeks of it he’s so much stronger than he was when he first came out of hospital and a fracture he had from the cancer in his bones (metastasis) has healed up so much faster than expected, he didn’t need his cane when I took him to an appointment the other day. I sent you a friend request, if you like I can share a few recipes with you. Take care and keep in touch, I’m also from a small family so these forums help a lot and there’s always someone to talk to if you need x 

Hello Y bird,

Firstly, sorry to hear about your DAD.

If you have not done it get yourself and your family to a GP.

Due to the facts he or she should refer you quickly to an Onchologiist  who can assist you.

It is also possible to hurry the system to put you on a 14 day referal to get you to a Specialist to help your Dad,

For yourself get assistance from CRUK and the site. They will hopefully help you to cope. Alternatively, McMillan cancer support. they have excellent free telephone lines that you can talk. i believe the second option have lines open longer,

Hope this help?

Best Wishes

Andy.