Hi there, and welcome to the club we wish we didn't need but it is a great place to vent , or chat .. or like you, let those feelings out ... sometimes it helps just writting it down ...

Well I've been on this breast cancer journey over 2 years now .. and for me the biggest lesson is , life is never quite the same, once we've been touched by it ... and maybe your grieving for the "normal" you used to have .. now you have to find a new "normal"  and that's really hard .. and your both quite early on your journey ... 

For me, l now look at every day as a bonus... l look at the beautiful things I took for granted ... everyday with my amazing granddaughter,  well wow ... l dont go near angry or grumpy people now .. lve found those who supported me, and the love is more then I ever dreamed ... so cancer isn't always negative.. 

Your wife is now on the hardest fight of her life .. but know, there's lots of us breast lasses on here .. I started on here 2 years ago, with about 6 others , all different stages and treatments... but you know, we've not lost one yet ... and having a positive attitude will get you through .. still let those feelings out together ... it's o.k to feel scared... and the definition of brave, is being scared witless but still doing what you have to any way... that's brave ...

Most men feel a little helpless, because in life our men are meant to fix things , to make things o.k .. but with cancer, you can't... it's out of your hands, and instead just need to hold her hand and be there .. and that is priceless... 

As for kids, I've been gently honest with my granddaughter.. who was 6 .. she knew nanny was very poorly .. and one day when she asked if I would die, l told her if I did I'd be that star next to the bright one as that's my mum's... children are better then we think .. what scares them is whispers,  chatting away and stopping when they come close ..  you only say what's appropriate for their age .. but truth and telling them, it's o.k to cry .. and it's o.k to feel worried .. and you can all share feelings and walk the same path .. 

It's not a walk in the park, but it's all doable ... so when I was ready to fight , I got a pair of pink vertual boxing gloves and got in the ring, ready to kick it's butt ... 

So hold on in there ... wer always here if you want a chat ... Chrissie x

Hi

I was diagnosed with BC in Feb last year. Think what your feeling is quite natural and don't have much to say on that score as I think Chriss has said it all. The treatment plan will depend on a number of factors; cancer stage, lymph nodes involvement, type of BC, ER/PR status, HER2 status, cancer grade etc.

I did not tell my son about the invasive aspect of my BC and he's in his 20s, luckly I did not need chemo so was able to make light of the diagnosis and downplay it. I felt this is my disease not his and did not want him to live with it. I did not and do not want him to worry about me. The decision at the end of the day is yours and your wife but I would ask myself what I would achieve by telling the kids. Please give your wife my best wishes x

Thank you Chriss. I think that might be the case that there is an element of mourning in there. My wife is otherwise fit & healthy and making a strong recovery from surgery. I guess a large part of it is holding it together for the kids and to some extent not wanting to burden her with my thoughts. We'll get there. 

Thanks Magpiemaggie. 

Hi there ..

Just a thought, but in being strong for her, she maybe trying to be strong for you, then it all becomes a heavy weight to bare ... I've always been the strong one everyone comes to .. I sort things , and I take care of my own problems , except this last time, my son found out from a phone call I got while at his house ... to cut a long story short, I started letting those I loved in to my journey ... 

Yes there were tears, and shock, but after they saw me and my boxing gloves, determined to join the fight, they let me take control, as what and when ... but oh my the support and love I got back, and that's because  for the first time, l shared tears, and feelings ... but I had them every step of the way ..

This journey is about sharing .. about honesty .. about saying it's o.k to feel scared .. this is both your journey now .. to do your way .. but done together, you will come out stronger then ever .. and although it won't be the same, it can be better .. 

I'm here most days if you want a chat ... or vent ... but you know because of the balance of emotions , and letting us all acknowledge them, we even had laughs along the way, with things that come up .. the lightness balancing the shade ...  Chrissie x

Hi and welcome.Canceris common now because we are not dying of TB / diphtheria / tetanus / common infections.I used to live in Kingston upon Thames and it was a nice stroll across the parish church, but I will never forget the gravestone " in affectionate memory of Joseph Brown and five children who died in infancy" 1920

We never know what is waiting for us, though as a retired GP I am a bit more au fait.Life throws *** at us.

Radiotherapy is boring

Chemo makes you ill but the new anti sickness drugs are wonderful

A friend told me that with chemo you are awful for a week, so-so for a week, the ok for a week, her rule of threes.

Cold caps are painful and a waste of time

muster all your friends to cook/ shop/ do school runs and get a cleaner xx

Thanks Joanie much appreciated. It was a lumpectomy and she lost the nipple. I'm just conscious that I don't want to add to her burden  I will be talking to the local Macmillan cancer support teams for some guidance and also using this forum