Hi maudular and all the trouble with cancer it's not just the person with it it's all the family as well, but there's no cure for the family they have to try to help themselves and the pacient,, hope you're feeling OK maudular i know you've had it rough lately. Best wishes.. Billy 

Hey Billy,

Sorry for the delay in replying, thank you for taking the time to speak with me and for your kind words, they are very much appreciated!

I think this week is up there with one of the worst of my life, my husband has led me a dog’s life this week. I won’t bore you with the details, it’s testing my patience to the very limit and o feel like running away! I work full time so I leave home at 8am get home about 5.30. I then have all sorts to sort, my lunch break is usually spent on the phone sorting appointments, chasing medication. My brain hurts, I feel mentally drained!

Hopefully next week will be better!

Thanks for your support! Enough about me how’s things going with you??? 

Take care of you xx M 

Good Evening Young Man,

How was the tooth extraction??? I hope it wasn’t too painful for you! 

How is your wife now? Is she coming round and supporting you? This cancer shennanagins is a tough old nut to crack, but keep chipping away at it and you’ll get there.

I hope you are feeling brighter than earlier in the week! What’s your next step??? 

Thinking of you and sending you warm wishes x

Take care of you x M x

Hi maudulr.

feeling a bit better today, the extractions weren't to bad, but had to stitch my gums, feels like I have a mouthful of cotton, met with the dieticians day the can't think of her title, but she was explaining the importance of exercising my jaw and tongue,  and explained about having the peg fitted, and I'm expecting to get that done Tuesday or Wednesday, then they anticipate to start the radiotherapy a eek on Monday 

the wife is coming round a bit, but I can see she is still sceptical, she,s not sleeping at night, and although she isn't showing it I think it wearing her down, more than me. 

till then trying to keep my chin up, xx

It’s a lot of information to absorb in such a short space of time and everything happens so quickly, the good thing is they are starting your radiotherapy soon!

It’s difficult for us other halves, when I first read my husbands notes and saw the HPV+ I was worried but I knew from the coverage on the media and radio what it was, and the first thought is have they been unfaithful? Is it still the sexually transmitted part that she’s sceptical about or the whole cancer diagnosis??

Its a lonely old world sometimes this cancer mullarkey, I tried to hold everything in and not talk about anything, I put a front on but it’s soul destroying watching it all unfold, that’s why i’m so grateful I found this chat, i’ve had two wobbles but tonight I’ve had enough of all of it, I want to pack my bags and run!  Last Friday night I got in my car and midnight and drove to McDonalds and sat on the car park until 3am to gather my thoughts, I had nowhere to go and nobody to talk to and that was my only escape!

I hope your wife comes round and supports you and you can work your way through this nasty horrible phase in your life!

Keep me posted how things are going, you and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers x 

I'm sorry your having to go through this awful time alone, it,s the same with my wife she won't open up and let me know what's, she,s feeling, but she does open up to her daughters, and at the moment I'm feeling like I'm being carried on a wave, 

thinking of you

regards

Del

We do talk about the treatment, but she doesn't let out what she is feeling inside only to her daughters,I've tried to get her to open up and all she says is she's ok, but I really feel for you taking this on your own, and yet your happy to give support to the likes, of me

your a true legend x

I’m happy to help, cancer is hard enough and it’s even harder if you have to deal with it on your own, sometimes we can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely.

It’s ok to feel sad, when people ask me how I feel, it’s easy to say I’m fine, when really i’m not fine!

So, now when people ask me how are you or how do you feel, if I feel happy I say “I feel like a sunny day at the beach” If I feel sad I say “I feel like a ballon with no air”

Once it all kicks in your wife will realise that she doesn’t have to be fine and i’m sure there will be times when you sit and talk and it becomes easier for both of you. 

The thing with cancer is nobody gives you a handbook or a how to guide, it’s a case of get on with it and feel your way through it. What works for my husband might not work for you, you’ll find a way and some days you’ll think you can’t carry on but you will, and any time you feel like a balloon with no air! Hop on here and we’ll help you out equally when you feel like a sunny day at the beach share it, take the wins and your radiotherapy will fly by!

take care of you x

Thanks Maudulr, I'm in bed now with the Flu, just one thing after another hey,

speak later xx