I have just been diagnosed with stage 4 secondary liver cancer. I felt I was in free fall whe I was told a few ago. I want to run but I can't.  We are a member of a club we do not want to be in and yet more that a third of people will get cancer. It's terrifying. I'm finding hard it to be the sick one too. I'm the fixer and doer in my family and I can't get used to not being that person any more. 

I wish you good luck with treatment. I also find Maggie's centre invaluable for counseling at the moment they have save me a few times ️

Hello 747, my heart goes out to you, I can feel the free fall you are feeling. Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I wish you the strength to bear this without such anguish and hope you find the support you need. x

Sorry to hear about your knee Christine! Hope it's feeling a little better today! Glad to hear you had a nice time at your daughter's.

Caroline that's so good that your boys have been able to still just get on with their lives. Your can do attitude must be influencing them.

ADHD and Aspergers must be difficult to get an adult diagnosis. Do you have much contact with his friends? Just thought if they could speak to him about the weed? I have also known quite a few students who have used it and just grown out of it. That's really good though that he came to the cinema with you all. Also nice to hear from another fellow teacher!

Hope you have a lovely time at your family get together!

Michelle xxx

Caroline

Your son should be glad I'm not his mother and the world should be glad I've never had any kids ( as should they ??!!??)....not sure I'd have the patience that you obviously & luckily have given his situation. And raw sprouts are very under-rated I find.  My chap, and this year was no exception, serves up everything at a different temperature, luckily the gravy is usually hot to heats things up.  So thankfully managed to stuff my greedy face on both Christmas & Boxing Day ( 2 full Christmas dinners - Adrian, afraid that the turkey that was dated use by 26th Dec would be off by 25th bought 2 crowns for far too many people...I do worry about him!).

Your cat also sounds like a challenge...you drug pusher, you!  My cats are lucky that am sooo tight they don't get expensive catnip and their treat was that they got 1/2 pouch each of wet food (rather than the miserly 1/4 pouch to accompany a modicum of dry food).  How are they so fat I ask myself, and why do all my neighbours know them so well...curious...

And Michelle - my cats have been sick that many times over the year what may have been beige carpets in the mist of time now have leopard spots (maybe something to to with unenthusiastic application of carpet vanish however).

What did you see at the cinema - any recommendations?  Its my pants week next week so may end up there just to stop the cabin fever at some point.

Do have fun in Taunton, hope its dry for you.

Christine 

Blast had - cheers!!

30 years!  Crikey.  As you can tell from my posts I think I'm rebalancing the imbalance that you had in your relationship, Adrian (the dafty-pants - as he is fondly known...amongst many other things the lucky lad) always does all the cooking when I'm at his house (and will never eat at mine for fear I kill him), and thankfully festive fare is not exception, he won't actually let anyone in the kitchen to help.  My job is entertaining the guests (maybe he doesn't want them to stay eh?) until the nosh is good to go.  I've also of late, being quite tired, especially with the chest infection (which is getting better, just a pathetic cough remains) have got him tidying the house too.  He's such a good boy - and I'll be reflecting on this in his annual appraisal!

Can I ask what your daughter got you, no worries if you'd rather not say, I always struggle with gifts for my mother (cricket books were her highlight this year...not very inspiring though for me...I hate cricket..maybe this is where am going wrong).

Your curries sound yummy (my taste buds are still pants), what's your favourite?  MIne is a garlic lamb dish (chunks of lamb with whole garlic cloves that pop in you mouth in a middling heat sauce)...they don't do it in many places though unfortunately.

Stick with your knee exercises and it will improve again...give it time...

Where are you down south? Hope the travelling was OK as know what the roads can be like down here when it should be quiet (once made the mistake of thinking I would have a leisurely journey to Doncaster in between Christmas & New year...6 hours later...never again!) - and don't stay too long...the north needs you!  Hope you're having fun wherever you are.

Michelle,

I may be having radiation therapy at a similar time to your mother (maybe just after) as will have surgery around end Jan and then rads March-ish.

Let us know what the mid Jan results show and am glad she had a good Christmas.

Sam X

Hi Sam,

Two Christmas dinners is amazing! Our food was also several different temperatures all settled with molten gravy.

Leopard spot carpet! Brilliant! I have a chair with similar makings that no matter how much upholstery cleaner still the same a week later!

That's helpfull to know you will have your radio therapy at a similar time. Will also update on the results in Jan.

Michelle xxx

Good morning, ladies,

I am currently in Walton on Thames, being spoiled rotten by my son and his lovely lady. We drove down last night, arriving here about 12.30, no traffic problems and two beautifully behaved dogs.  Charley, their tiny something dog sat and cuddled me all the way. Encouraging me to keep on scratching and stroking her if I stopped, while Archie sat in the special dog seat in the front, gazing adoringly at my son. This morning I have been fed royally, my dog has been walked and I am now about to go and shower, but I had to reply to Sam before I do.

The Christmas present that made me cry was a ticket to see Andre Rieu in Liverpool next May. The reason it was so special is my daughter doesn't like what she calls his "oompah pah" music, and she has "lent" me her lovely best friend and hubby to go with, so I don't even have to drive.  I have been totally envious of my best friend for three years because she took her husband to Maastricht to see one of his concerts for his 65th birthday and it has sort of been on my bucket list to attend one of his concerts ever since, with no expectation of ever achieving it. I have lots of his concerts on Now TV that I love to watch time and again. Please believe I am not usually moved to tears by such things and I was as surprised as she was that I just sank in to floods of tears, unable to speak when I opened the envelope with the ticket in it. 

Its interesting to see three of us have been teachers.  I have been involved in teaching and education for most of my life, even toward the end of my working days I worked with people with learning difficulties helping them to find work and delivering adult ed courses. I taught in secondary school in the 60's, first year infants in a dual language school in Saudi Arabia in the 70's. I was a nanny for a royal prince in the Middle East in the 80's and a governess in America in the 90's. By the time we returned to U.K. Things had seriously changed in the teaching world so I diversified, but later spent seven years as a school governor until I retired.

Sam, I think you are sounding like your old self, I was howling with laughter at your last message, you do me a power of good.

Now for that shower!

C xx

Hello gang!

All good here, as always am on the pills provided post chemo, though deffo won't miss the odd sleep patterns ( thanks steroids) and constipation (luckily think I've enough dulcoease to see me through).

Am thankful that my (Southampton, maternal) Mother departed Saturday, it was lovely of her to accompany me to my last chemo Friday - think she'd felt left out as northern pals all wanted to attend a session (the crazy loons) but spending 4 days with her is quite tiring (am such a terrible daughter).  And have the northern (ex) step mother (also a teacher!) down on Weds, she's very entertaining as is only 13 yrs older than me (my father has oodles of Irish charm - can you tell??), if am feeling ok quite fancy a trip to Brighton, we'll see.

Am having an easy week this week (i.e. Planning on being a lazy a**e and doing no work) as Tues onwards will be my pathetic time of the chemo cycle but hopefully will enable me to get out & about (missing my cycle rides & gym visits of late) still.

Bought some button up tops & cardigan tops yesterday in anticipation of the next stage of the adventure as realised most of wardrobe requires contortion of upper body to get into...bring on that op!  

Christine, 

Hope Walton on Thames is treating you well (despite being darn sarf and all), I have actually feel a renewed northerness in surrey over the past days...

You were lucky with the traffic, my mother got stuck in loads of M25 traffic Saturday, that road is terrible, and I do anything to avoid it.

Good to know I am a priority over cleanliness (and am humbled)...most things in my house/life are also for me, I do hope my bad habits aren't rubbing off.  Think we're probably on for a midday shower today, always am very successful at getting distracted from whatever am trying to do (apart from food, never get distracted from that funnily enough).

Ah, Andre Rieu tickets, that was a very well thought out gift that obviously had the desired impact.  I must say that the more thoughtful the better with gifts and reflects how well the giver knows & loves you. And so well organised with chauffeur & friends in tow....your daughter has done very well indeed, she will however struggle to top this one I fear!  I think given what you've been through such a thoughtful present deserves an appropriate reaction.

Sounds like you've had an interesting career, am sure there's many tales from travels and those you've reached & worked for eh?  Its strange but many people think I'm a teacher if I ask what they think I do, unfortunately am a (very interesting!!) accountant (I lie in the previous brackets), it does however pay the (expensive southern) bills and I do, generally, enjoy it.  

Hope that knee is improving!

Will be doing very little for New Years Eve but do hope others are making up for my lack of enthusiasm.  Will probably go round to a pals house with Adrian for nibbles (will miss the fizz though...boo!).

Sam X

Hiya!

i bought zip up fleeces for my post surgery wardrobe but found I could pull on a tee shirt within a couple of days. My surgery was on my left side and I am right handed so my movement and ability to do things wasn't impeded much at all, although I still find the numbness under the arm and in the armpit a bit disconcerting, especially when I am drying myself and putting on deodorant! 

Its funny to read about being thankful that your mother has gone. My daughter and I are very close but she is brutally honest when she says she could not live with me. We used to go on holiday for a week at a time, twice a year, with never a cross word but we have our moments. Funnily enough, she is an accountant. 

I have been sitting here with a TENS machine attached to my knee, under orders to do nothing but rest, I will end up like all those characters on the space ship in that film 'Walle', rotund and immobile. I am being very well cared for, excellent food, very filling and healthy. I realise this is how I should eat all the time but when at home I tend to look in the fridge at all my healthy food and then grab a packet of crisps and an ice cream. 

Happy New Year!

Sheltie-lady 

i Hope your recovering well. I take it you had lymph node removed. That’s what I’ve had done 5 weeks ago but mine was right side that awful pain had gone but numbness and swelling is there. After biopsy now I have been told 16 long months later I have breast cancer and have to have another op and then chemo begins. I dread loosing my long hair and the side effects. I am in denial and shocked and not accepted it. Any tips will help. Had a quiet Christmas chin up kind of one. Tomo New Year’s Eve going to have a pet scan.  I’m so scared. Worried. Don’t know what to expect. 

Hope we all have a better year next year xx 

Yorkshire 

hope your ok. Your on lots medicines I take it. Sorry we all have to go through this dreaded C word. 

I live in north Lincolnshire where about are you. ? 

I got to go through chemo and another op soon I’m still recovering from lymph node removal op life is such an ***. 

My world has fallen Apart. I don’t know what to e levy from chemo.  Scared of it all. Loosing hAir And the rest. Unsure what to do right now. X. Happy new year. Hope a better one for us all xx 

Hi Sangha,

Happy New Year!

I found the lymph node removal harder than the mastectomy which I expected as the breast isn't a vital organ and taking it off is less invasive than going into the armpit, I am eight weeks on now and the pain has diminished and the feeling of having been scraped with sandpaper from elbow to armpit is not as bad as it was. I find the numbness in the armpit is taking some getting used to but, all in all, I am pretty much back to normal. I got cording, which was painful but that's gone now. My biggest problem now is unrelated to cancer, it is my stupid old arthritic knee!  

You may find you don't need chemo, not every cancer is responsive to it, but even if you do there are ways of protecting your hair. I have been told to have hormone therapy which I am hesitating about because of potential side effects but that's only because I am old and don't think I could cope with bad side effects if, percentagewise, the benefits are relatively small.

Why did it take so long to diagnose the breast cancer? What were you told 16 months ago? I was told the same day that I had the biopsy that it was cancer and then just had to wait for the details. 

It is horrible to have cancer but it isn't what it used to be for most people so try not to be too scared. There are people on here who are still alive and well many years after their treatment, so take heart and you will be ok!

I find reading is the best way to forget about cancer for a few hours, otherwise it is in your head and on your mind all the time. A good mystery or thriller takes me out of cancer world for as long as it takes to finish the book. Then I start another one! Lol.

Christine x

Christine. 

Happy New year. And thank you for replying and your support. Xx 

sorry you have had to go through this. Yes the C awful word is awful. A killer just by hearing you have it XX 

so you had a Masectomy and lymph node removal I take it separate operations. 

Hope your feeling better xxx  I had my lymph node removal as in armpit but was getting enlarged  very painful   I had op six weeks tomo  very sore  awful swelling and numbness  

16 months like summer 2018 it started  had biopsy mammogram ct scan  all clear  had few admissions due to pain and temperatures  they said was infection  

From July this year it got worse and worse. Which led to the op. They took a biopsy then found cancer. At minute they treAting as breAst cancer. Had few scans mammogram. Ct scan pet scan. Incase it’s secondary and coming from anywhere else. 

I have been told I have to have another op nundurd which one. And defo chemo I’m dreading it all as we only found out on 13 Friday. December so my world just fell apart. We only told my son over Xmas. It was a quick dull Xmas and just did nothing hardly xx 

I’m scared of loosing hair. Side effects I’m 45. Had enough already. Xxxx. Thsnk you XX 

Christine. 

Happy New year. And thank you for replying and your support. Xx 

sorry you have had to go through this. Yes the C awful word is awful. A killer just by hearing you have it XX 

so you had a Masectomy and lymph node removal I take it separate operations. 

Hope your feeling better xxx  I had my lymph node removal as in armpit but was getting enlarged  very painful   I had op six weeks tomo  very sore  awful swelling and numbness  

16 months like summer 2018 it started  had biopsy mammogram ct scan  all clear  had few admissions due to pain and temperatures  they said was infection  

From July this year it got worse and worse. Which led to the op. They took a biopsy then found cancer. At minute they treAting as breAst cancer. Had few scans mammogram. Ct scan pet scan. Incase it’s secondary and coming from anywhere else. 

I have been told I have to have another op nundurd which one. And defo chemo I’m dreading it all as we only found out on 13 Friday. December so my world just fell apart. We only told my son over Xmas. It was a quick dull Xmas and just did nothing hardly xx 

I’m scared of loosing hair. Side effects I’m 45. Had enough already. Xxxx. Thsnk you XX 

I know it's harder than it sounds but making yourself think about other things does help. Just saying.

xxx

That’s very true. Think it’s just early days. ThAnk you. Xx 

Hi Sangha,

Try not to stress too much. Losing your can be traumatic but it is only hair - it will grow back and it won't be for too long. It's all necessary in order to help you beat this. Losing your hair over survival is a no brainer really. I'm 49 and have short hair and would be unhappy to lose it but if it meant I could best this disease then I'll take that.

xx

Caz 

thsnk you. That’s so true xxxx