Hi there Tia...

Welcome to our little chat room... so so sorry you've had to join us ... but your deffinatly not alone .. yes you are really young to get it ... but cancer is crule and doesn't care who it touches ...

I had a grade 3 her 2 neg oestrogen positive lump and had a masectomy in July 2017 ... they may be giving you chemo first to try to shrink it befor op ... l had a total right masectomy... so had the whole breast taken away ... but I was 63 at the time .. and I've got a huge family and I was the first with breast cancer ... so it gets everyone ...

I know you must feel confused /angry and tearful ... if you are that's quite normal .. we all felt like that in those early days ..  it's a bit like feeling your in the middle of a hurricane and being swept along with no control ... or you may be o.k .. but these feelings do take us by surprise... go with however you feel .. then get yourself a pair of vertual boxing gloves and get in this ring with us ... there's lots of breast lasses here .. @Jbains ... @Marlyn  and others .. hopefully will pop by soon ... 

Cancer wants us to give up ... but together wer trying to kick it's ***... any questions just ask ... sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie xx

Hi Tiamaria1982

Welcome to the forum, and sorry to hear about your diagnosis.

I was feeling exactly  the same as you in November  last year when I found a lump  in my breast  and under my arm.

I was fast fastracked to the breast clinic where I had mammogram, ultrasound  and biopsies done.

I had  to wait 2 weeks for the results and it was the longest 2 weeks of my life.

The anxiety  was just crippling and I could barely function. 

I was diagnosed  with a grade 3 distal invasive  triple  negative  tumour 5cm, and because of the size of it my consultant said they would offer me chemo first  to try and shrink  the lumps; the aim being that I would need a less invasive  surgery I.e lumpectomy  as opposed  to mastectomy.

I had my chemotherapy for 6 cycles and had  a complete response. It destroyed  all my cancer and then 4 weeks after finishing  my chemo  I had bilateral  lumpectomy as I had  a small lump in the other breast  too which  the mammogram didnt detect but MRI did.

I also  had full axillary  node clearance  on one side.

My surgery was 4 weeks ago now and I'm still recovering  but I have come along way and just  have my radiotherapy  to do now.

The chemotherapy is  gruelling but entirely doable.

You will get through this I'm sure.

Try to just live day to day and think  positive.

My mum died age 53 of ovarian  cancer  and so I know what it's like to live with the fear of hereditary  cancer.

Hope all this helps in some way.

hi

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I am 43 and was diagnosed with the same cancer as you about 2 months ago. I had all of the scans and it is also in my lymph nodes. I am having chemo first, this is because they want to shrink it first in order to be able to get the best outcome from a mastectomy, it’s also likely I will have radiotherapy as well. 

Things move pretty quickly once you are diagnosed, but be prepared for more waiting for scan results. 

I had my first chemo last week (it was delayed as the scans showed up I had an inflamed appendix so had an op to have that removed first) and so far so good, the thought of it was more scary for me than actually having it. As others have said it’s completely doable.  I decided not to cold cap and get my head shaved and get a wig , made me feel in control of what was going to happen.  I’ve tagged [@BigJean]‍ as she is also having chemo first and is a a couple of cycles ahead of me. 

We are here for you to help you through. 

X

Hi , 

I’m so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I too was diagnosed with the same as you it’s in my lymph nodes am I’m Her positive aswell. 

Ive currently had 2 sessions of AC chemo first one was tough but second one was much better. The worst part is all the waiting for results from all your scans and believe me you will think the worst , every little ache and pain you will think it’s spread . Honestly I did and it’s your body tensing up , I was told by the lovely ladies on here that you have to be positive and I wax and still am it’s really helped me and got me through . 

I also shaved my hair and I found it more upsetting coming out on its own , I wasn’t emotional getting it shaved as I felt in control of it going as [@Woollylamb]‍ agrees .i had my wig sorted before . 

Please try to be positive and you will get through this . 

Sending you a big hug .

you got this . 

Take care 

j xx

Sorry for the delay....thank you so much for your replies. 

I told a couple of friends yesterday and they sat there and cried and I sat there not upset at all feeling like I was talking about someone else. 

It was manic yesterday with different people calling booking my tests for this week and I spoke to someone last night who works for The Big Charity and she answered alot of my questions about how often I will problem be having the chemo (every 3 weeks for 6 cycles) and that I probably will lose my hair. 

It probabaly sounds silly but Im more upset about losing my hair than I am about possibly have a mastectomy as Im worried its going to scare my 3 year old little boy and my husband. I remember how ill my mum was with the chemo and I remember feeling so helpless that I know my husband is now going to go through that. I feel like sometimes its harder for the loved ones looking on. 

We are trying to be postive and making jokes about I can get myself a new hairstyle as im always moaning about how thick my hair is and possibly some nice perk boobs. In the back of my head though im always thinking about what if the tests come back and it has spread and I wont see Christmas. 

We were going to go to Disneyworld at the end of the year and my husband says we are still going to go but just a little bit later than planned. 

If you dont mind I'll update this post when I find out my tests results and it would be lovely to hear from people with the same diagnois.  

Thank you for helping me feel like im not alone xxx

Hi there ...

Thank you for the update ... we all know that feeling of thinking about that word we so take for granted "the future" instead we see a question mark ... 

I came on here at the start of my journey and my guardian angel was [@Jolamine]‍ .... she held me up when l thought all I wanted was the 7 weeks summer holiday with my granddaughter to make as many memories for her as I can .. l feel teary just thinking of that time .. but I did see the summer holiday .. and the next summer holiday .. and here I am again almost at another one ..  

There is a young wonderfull lass on here .. [@Dizzle82]‍ ... she lost her hair with chemo .. but she posted her picture on here, after and oh my, the beauty she showed was amazing .. and she got a wonderful hair piece too ..   it's the beauty from within .. you never loose that .. I hope she doesn't mind me mentioning her .. 

So look at hair pieces first before you need one .. wer all here for you on good or hard days .. for me, it was like being lost at sea .. feeling lost and then you see a life buoy just in arms reach ... hold on to it .. and slowly it will bring you home ...  sending you a vertual hug.... Chrissie xx

Hey

i found telling people really mentally draining, as you are having to deal with other people’s emotions and they all react differently.  I felt better once it was out in the open.  I was worried about telling my children they are 7 and 9, we’ve told them that I need some medicine to kill a bug, and talked to them about how it will make me look and feel.  My eldest was concerned about my hair as he didn’t want people to be mean to me, and he wanted me to look the same.  I bought a wig but also decided to have a system made that matches my hair exactly, it was expensive but for me that’s what I wanted to do,  i respect everyone wants to do different things regarding hair loss, the boys didn’t even know I had had it done.

I had also convinced myself it had spread, and that it was my last mother’s day, and it hadn’t, but they did pick up appendicitis for which I had no symptoms, if that had ruptured during my chemo it could have lead to sepsis which is fatal, so good things can come from the scans.

I hope the scans are ok, You are defo not alone, we are here if you need us.

Big Hugs

WL

Hi Tiamaria,

Well just reading your story, this could have been me just over a year ago. 9 days after turning 36 I too was diagnosed with grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma. After Mri and CT scan, thankfully there was no spread but it ws confirmed the cancer was at stage 3. Naturally I was shocked, scared, anxious, you name it, I felt it! I had 6 rounds of chemo, then a skin sparing mastectomy followed by radiotherapy. They do the chemo before surgery with it being grade 3 just to shrink the lump first. I lost my hair with the chemo and I lost it quick but managed to get a lovely wig which I preferred to my own hair amd much quicker getting ready in the mornings :) I wasnt prepared for losing eyebrows and lashes though along with my big toenails. Dont want to scare you but I guess its just important to know what to expect. Its not a nice time and you will feel grotty, but just as soon as it starts its all finished with. Goes so quick. My treatment days are a complete blur to me. Everyone is different but I didnt find chemo too bad...more tiring but I still managed to maintain a good social life. It doesnt have to mean you are wrapped in cotton wool for 6 months. A positive attitude works a treat too. Sometimes I think its mind over matter....if you keep telling yourself you're unwell, you will begin to feel it. 

Thankfully I was given the all clear in February and in the same week found out I was 3 months pregnant despite being told id probably gone through early menopause.....so I think of my life as even better after cancer despite the one boob lol...but its all cosmetic and can be rectified. Im sure everything will be fine. Just be positive. You can message me if you ever want a chat :)

thanks [@Chriss]‍ for the mention or id never have found this.

Candice Aka Dizzle xx

Hi Tiamaria,

A very warm welcome to our forum. It may be the first time that you have done this, but I doubt that it will be the last, as it is really great to have the support from those who know exactly what you are going through and, nearly all of us here have experienced cancer for ourselves.

I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer in the past 10 years and, also lost my mum to secondary breast cancer 22 years ago. I am glad to hear that you had the sense to take out private medical insurance, as a result of your mum’s history of cancer.

You are having a busy week this week with all the tests you’re having. Rest assured that there is nothing at all unusual about having chemo before you have surgery. As Chriss says, it is often used to reduce the size of a tumour before surgery. This is always a scary time. There are so many unknowns at the moment. If it’s of any consolation, it will get easier to deal with all this, once you know exactly what you are up against.

The scans you’re having this week should help to clarify this for you. Fortunately, it shouldn’t take too long to get the results of these tests. All of the ladies who have responded to you are or have been going through the wringer with treatment. There is no point in telling you that it’s an easy ride – it’s not, but it is definitely doable.

I don’t know how long ago it is since your mum died. Mine died 22 years ago and, there is just no comparison between the diagnosis, treatment and after care my mum had and that which I’ve experienced in the past 10 years. Where people used to die of breast cancer, many more are now living with it, so you should definitely see Christmas and, get away on your family holiday.

I have had a lumpectomy and a double mastectomy and neither operation was nearly as bad as I’d expected them to be.

Telling friends and family can be difficult, but a lot depends upon how you present the news. Don’t wait for the tears and sad faces, jump in with a positive statement. – ‘Yes, I’ve got breast cancer, but I’m fine. I’ll get through this’. As the ladies here have already said, a positive attitude makes all the difference in coping with your diagnosis and treatment.

You are worried about losing your hair. This is natural, but I’m sure that there is no way that your son will be frightened of the new you. Likewise, I’m sure that your hubby doesn’t define you by your hair or lack of it. You have so many other attributes which they both know and love you for. Besides, if you arrange to get a wig before your chemo starts, your son probably won’t even know the difference, until he knocks it off one day – then he’ll just want to play with it!

I have had a lumpectomy and a double mastectomy and both are quite ‘doable’. Much to my surprise, I found the double mastectomy easier than the lumpectomy. Cancer doesn’t just affect the individual – it touches family and friends too. It will help both you and your hubby if you can talk openly about, all aspects of this disease openly. You will also find it helpful if you can take someone with you to your appointments, especially when you are going to get results. It is also useful to draw up a list of questions before each appointment and to take this with you to your appointments.

I hope that all your tests go well this week and that your results come through quickly. Do please keep us updated. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx