Hi Sarah welcome to hell, I know that's what it feels like sometimes, we've all been through it waiting to find out,, If,, then after we think why me, then at last its over, there's no rules in this place, after a while things do start getting better and you can return to the normal world I know things won't be the same but it can be an improvement on what it was, if you need to let off steam you are welcome there is plenty of space on these pages. Best wishes.

Billy 

Thank you, I don't remember feeliing like this 10 years ago.

Everyone has dark days Sarah. I'm the most positive person alive but even I sunk into the 'why me?' thoughts occasionally.

We don't get a lot of say in the hand we're dealt and sometimes we're just bloody unlucky. 

What helped me before was to write down all the things I was thankful for. That was useful in turning my negative thoughts back into something positive. In the face of so much gratitude, I didn't have room to dwell on the 'what ifs'. 

Enjoy your holiday. We should all be staying more covered up anyway and you can just look just fabulous in the shade. 

Hi, thank you for your kind words, its nice to know that I am not alone.

Maybe tomorrow I will wake up with a more positive attitude and just having one of those days.

Anyway, thank you

x

Hi sarah1210,

Just when you think it's safe to raise your head above the parapet this comes along. I can understand all the thoughts that are going through your head and I'm sure you will dimiss most of them as being silly but you will always have that lingering thought 'what if?' 

Having been a melanoma patient for many years (13 years stage 1 and 10 years stage 3) and knowing many melanoma patients, I've picked up a little information and advice along the way. Because of this I know that melanoma is a sneaky little cancer that is highly unpredictable - it doesn't, for instance, respond to chemotherapy, so I'm afraid all the treatment you received for breast cancer would have made not a jot to whether melanoma would raise it's ugly little head. I also know that research is being undertaken into a link between breast cancer and melanoma as there is an incidence of melanoma patients going on to have breast cancer (although I don't know how many have been the other way round). It is sadly a known fact that once someone has been diagnosed with any cancer there is a chance that they will get another cancer so their research may not find a link in the end anyway.

Go away on your holiday and take the time to calm your thoughts. I went away on a planned 3 week holiday the day after my Stage 3 diagnosis - it was far better than sitting in my own 4 walls brooding - and I came back more able to face the forthcoming surgery. You don't need the bee keeper suit (although it made me laugh) - just lather up suncream - it doesn't have to be Factor 50 - Factor 30 is high enough (only 1% difference in protection). Try stay in the shade in the hottest part of the day and wear loose fitting closeweave clothing, sunhat and sunglasses (I use a UV parasol - great in a hot climate). Enjoy your holiday and recharge your batteries for your Wide Local Excision. I will send you a pm in case you would like to chat privately,

Angie