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My boyfriend's mum cancer - how can I help?

CariadF
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I'm in a new relationship (around 6 months) and mid way through my boyfriend's mum has been disagnosed with cervical cancer. It can't be removed and she's too ill to have chemo so she's only having radiotherapy for now. 

I need advice on several different things:

A. What's going to happen next? 

B. What are her changes? My boyfriend is adament that this is the end. He talks openly but morbidly about the situation and I don't know how to help him. Is it pointless to gloss over it and tell him she'll be fine, should I just hear him out and be a support or do I need to be realisic and potencially get ready to help him prepare for the worst? I want to be optmistic but only if theres a chance she'll pull through. 

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    Hi there ...

    I know you want to make things better .. sometimes it's realising there's nothing you can do ... but you know if you can just listen and really hear him .. hold his hand while he holds his mum's , will mean more then you'll ever know .. he doesn't need wise words right now .. just an ear and a hand to hold ..

    You sound amazingly caring. .. it's must be heartbraking for you too ... but help him through this ... and you'll both come out stronger ...  just my thoughts ... Chrissie x

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    Hi Cariad,

    Sorry for what is happening with your boyfriend's mum.

    I have to agree with Chriss, in that it is just being there that is important, listening mainly.  There's little point trying to find wise words since you don't yet know what is going to happen.

    Only her medical team (and time) can give you an idea what will happen next, how she might change etc.  All of us with cancer are different people, we all have different side effects and cope in different ways.  There are some common side effects to radiotherapy and there might be little things you and your boyfriend can do to help his mum cope with them, but she will be able to guide you on that herself.

    So just be there for him, listen, make sure he knows you are there for him.  And the same goes for both of you with his mum, just be there for her.

    It's going to be hard at times, maybe quite funny at times (cancer can bring up some humorous situations), sad at times, and probably frustrating too.  We're all going through it be it with a family member or ourselves, and we're all here should you want to vent, rant, cry, laugh, ... 

    LJx

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