Totally understand, I was diagnosed yesterday with invasive breast cancer.....what a whirl! Am already booked for surgery on jan 3rd! I am veering between being a martyr and a complete heaving wreck! I also have breast cancer in the family....

this forum has been a god send to me......I dip in and out , keeps me in check! 

Keep in touch....it's good to share our experiences......the good the bad and the ugly....xxxxxx

Thank you Marlyn and Chriss that is really helpful. Sorry to hear about your diagnosis Marlyn. It is a complete whirl isn’t it. The only time I cried is when they talked about telling the children. Otherwise I can’t cry at all. I’m worried when the emotions do kick in I’ll be a mess. 

Chriss it’s good to know the operation went well. I’ve noticed lots of posts of people saying it went much better than they thought. I am finding this site very useful and have chatted to Jolamine on a different thread. 

Good luck with the op Marlyn. Mine will be Jan but don’t have a date yet. Have my eldest 13th on 4th jan, husbands birthday on 16th and youngest is 10 on 27th it will be a busy month! 

This forum is defo where to come when you're in a spin. I find I am pretty strong if people treat me "normally " as soon as someone gets upset or is overly kind I go to pieces!! I am a warden of a residential home and told people this morning, by the time I had finished my rounds I was in a mess! Although one elderly gentleman made me smile when he asked who would call on him while I am on sick leave! 

Take care and I find I cope better with a sense of humour ( all be it a dark one at times)

xxxxxx

I have found it is hard to deal with others emotions. It’s funny that others have cried more about it than I have. I’ve just had to speak to my daughters school in preparation for telling the children. I found saying the words very hard. I stopped work yesterday. I could effectively work but my work is emotionally draining like yours. I’m a social worker in a substance misuse team. Still debating whether to take annual leave until new year and then go in sick leave or start sick leave now xx

Yes, other people's reactions can floor me too! One elderly lady burst into tears and kept saying " *** *** *** ***" I didn't know if to laugh or cry!!! Another lady said...."glad you told me.....but what about that big tree in the garden". Just brilliant!!

i am on full steam ahead until my surgery....then I want to see how I feel.....I shall play it by ear......you will make the right decision for you......xxxxxx

Hi there ..

I think you being so busy, is keeping you going so you can do what needs to be done ... sitting thinking is the worse ... I had to tell my little 5 year old granddaughter (in pic) and told her nanny was ferry poorly and had to go in hospital so the Drs could try to make me better ... she visited in hospital, and was very gentle with her cuddles as she knew it was my boob that had been poorly ..

When she asked me, if I was going to die... I just told her if I did , I'd be that little star by the bright one which we always said was my mum ... and I told her I'd look down on her every night ... she was happy with that ... it was gentle honesty ... and l love her more then I've ever loved anyone and her me ... so although it was hard, it made it get her through ... and here I am 17 months on have had lots of wonderful memories with her still ..

Children take their lead from us ... it's about feeling o.k to cry with them, so they know it's o.k to cry .. they are more resilient then we realise .. it's when they suspect things and no one's being honest with them that make them even more scared .. it's all part of walking this journey and all holding hands together ... if the tears do come, tell your self it's o.k to let it out .. it's nateral .. go with whatever your feeling ..  Chrissie xx

Thanks both. You are doing well to keep going Marlyn. It’s nice you have been able to tell your service users.  I have poorly children at home this week which is not great when trying to negotiate appointments. But at least they are keeping me busy. My job involves a lot of future planning  and sorting out meetings etc which I can’t currently do. 

Your granddaughter looks beautiful Chrissie. I think you are right about talking to children before they find out for themselves. A lot of people have suggested waiting until after Christmas but I don’t want them to be surrounded by adults talking in whispers and then something slipping out. 

Sara

Thanks both. You are doing well to keep going Marlyn. It’s nice you have been able to tell your service users.  I have poorly children at home this week which is not great when trying to negotiate appointments. But at least they are keeping me busy. My job involves a lot of future planning  and sorting out meetings etc which I can’t currently do. 

Your granddaughter looks beautiful Chrissie. I think you are right about talking to children before they find out for themselves. A lot of people have suggested waiting until after Christmas but I don’t want them to be surrounded by adults talking in whispers and then something slipping out. 

Sara