Hi Suz

I saw no one has replied to you yet and didn’t want to just read and run. Although I had breast cancer I’m much older than you and my kids are now adults.  I remember the night feeds were a nightmare and that was without having an illness, I can imagine how difficult they must be for you as you go through your treatment, my heart goes out to you. Probably a stupid question but is there anyone who could take over the feeding for you? Are you getting support from your health visitor?

x

Thanks. I have my husband who has been great but he has to work during the day so can’t take over the night feeds. Regardless I want to do this as long as I can! I’m worried about the time when I can’t be there.  

Not sure what a health visitor can do. 

Thanks for replying. 

Hi SuzL,

I am so sorry you're going through this, especially at what should be such a joyous time (and I'm sure still is in many ways).

I'm not in your boat as I've never had children, but I do have stage 3 breast cancer so can hopefully be of some help as you are going through treatment.

In terms of other possible help I would advise you (or get a friend to do this for you maybe as you have so much on your plate) to locate as many charities in your area as possible that could offer you help.  This would include not just cancer charities, but possibly also carer charities.  So you might already know of Cancer Relief, MacMillan, Princes Royal Trust for Carers etc.  I would contact every single one you can find and see what help they have available, and if they can help then use them!!!!  And remember that your circumstances will change over time so check what services might be of use in months to come too.  The help can be both financial and practical.  Citizens Advice Bureau might also be able to tell you what charities are in your area.

In terms of night feeds, I know it might seem like a lot to ask of people, but do you have good friends/family who might consider staying over (on a rota system) to help from time to time, just so that it doesn't all fall to you or your husband.  I know if I had a friend or family member nearby in your position I would be more than happy to do this for them.  It's never going to be ideal but it might still help you a bit.

Your health visitor may not be able to help with night feeds but they should be know of support services and charities in your area so do ask them.  Get friends and family doing thorough Google and Citizens Advice searches for you.

Best wishes, and really hoping there are people in your area that can help.

​​​​​​​LJxx

Hi Suz,

I am much older than you and have just been diagnosed. I am now awaiting the results of MRI etc. It is normal to feel scared and sorry for yourself - we all do that. But remember that it is better to try and enjoy what you have and they have improved cancer treatment so much these days that the odds are you will beat it.

x

Perfectly alright to feel sorry for yourself from time to time. Not a good idea to dwell though obviously as that just robs you of good times.

It's still very early days for you, and hopefully someone will come on who has been or is in your position.  Some people are on daily, others much less frequently.

Just remember to take whatever help you can get!

LJxx

HI suzl, my heart went out to you as well, you are coping with possibly 2 of the most difficult situations, new baby and Cancer. My story is different to yours however i would like you to know that people really do care. There is a lot of help for most situations, be honest with your family and Cancer care staff, Mcmillan and group meetings if you ask i am sure you will be given some support, and i think right now you need all the support you can find, so dont try to do it all your self, keep asking untill you have a solution, bye the way congratulations on your new baby, it will all be good.