Dear Tango

I understand the gutted and I am so very sorry for your partner, and for you.  I hope you get the answers and the support you both need tomorrow.  I nursed my parents through terminal cancer and have had breast cancer myself in the past so I wanted to reply to you and just say - we all react so differently to devestating news and often it is harder to discuss with those we are closest to - the emotional costs are high and  the conflicting mess of denial and fear make for confusing reactions.  It is early days in your partner’s diagnosis and both of you must be so emotionally shattered and battered - things will even out with a little more time.  There may well be a partners/families suport group which might help or a counsellor/nurse who can help you make sense of your feelings and his - ask at the hospital tomorrow.  Or you could call the nurses here tomorrow (number at bottom of page) they are very supportive and well informed. 

There are times when trying to be positive is beneficial and times when denial is helpful - but it is hard when you are not both on the same ‘page’ at the same time.  Maybe your partner finds it easier to talk to folk with whom he can put on the positive mask at the moment. 

I hope you find someone who can help you and help your partner make sense of where you are - maybe there is someone else on the forum with a similar experience.  In the meantime I just wanted to reply and say that you are not alone on the forum - and my sincere best wishes that tomorrow will bring you some comfort.   Please do call the forum nurses. X C