I really feel for you. I am struggling too. 32 and feel like my life is over 

While I can sympathise, in some circumstances I'm unable to empathise. Because I don't think the same way as other people.

My first post on here was intended to be helpful and caveated by explaining that I think differently. Not better or worse, not rght or wrong, just different. And what I had to say was from a dfferent point of view.

I ask you - would you rather live the rest of your life in fear and disgusted with yourself, or would you rather not give a stuff and live your life to the full?

I have to admit I've been a tad untruthful there. I don't actually think differently. I used to but now I'm virtually unable to think any more, due to a cognitive impairment from all the meds I've been taking. I have no internal dialogue. I'm unable to form new opinions. Any seeming opinions are stream of consciousness, previously held opinions.

Sometimes I'd be unable to post. Unable to even taking in what posts from others are saying.

And now I'm rambling.

I really do wish the best for you and hope you can come to terms with your situation. I'm sorry if I've upset you.

Regards

Taff

Hello Kit82,

                 l totally understand how you feel, and the mental stress that can ensue from having to cope with this should not be downplayed. l view sticky on (sometimes) stoma bags as something akin to a stone age solution for a modern problem,and wonder why a better solution cannot be found.l do not know if there is any activity or research going on in this area,but there really should be since there is a real need for a better solution,especially for those with a long active life in front of them.

        Perhaps someone with a little more knowledge or insight might care to comment on this.In the meantime all l can say is that l hope your mind becomes dulled enough with time,that you reach a position of compromise with your latest addition, that allows you to get on with your life and you start living it again,

                     take care, David

Hi, 

just read your post. Just been diagnosed with stage 3 rectal cancer. Wanting to do stoma then chemo then the op and I'm wondering how long you were in hospital when you had the stomach fitted and how soon your chemo took place after. So pleased you've cooed as well as you have.

Regarding getting used to a stoma.

As a nurse I met this amazing lady who had been fitted with a stoma. In the initial stages the stoma bag needed to be kept on until her body got used to her newly managed digestive system. After a while she kindly let me in to see how she was doing. At this stage the motions had become well formed. She would sit calmly on the toilet and imagine herself passing a bowel movement - and after a while that's exactly what happened. She did this each day at the same time and her body responded the same way. Eventually this meant her stoma garment could be modified in a way she was completely happy with! 

Now, please note - this lady did have to go through the stages to get to this point. She was a bright & sunny lady who was a delight. So ... may I encourage you. Stay as bright as you can. Yes, you may be bluesy and that's ok but don't stay there - if you need help getting your happy serotonin level up then know for sure there's absolutely no shame in getting antidepressants to help you on your journey. There's a time & place for these and this may be it. Whatever is helpful & healthy for you then avail yourself. Not habits that are destructive but positive moves. You are coming through this and it WILL get better. I remember this lady and her full name but for privacy's sake I will not reveal it. I can believe for you. Hold in there. It's going to get better & better & better. Send you love and a gentle hug

I had same operation has you had anus rectum removed, it is 8 weeks since i had stoma bag fitted. my problem is i seem to pass my poo on a night nothing through the day , also it is like a paste which sticks at the top of the bag , ive tried putting baby oil round inside of the bag but still the same , im using more bags and my skin round stoma very sore , just wondering if you have had any problems like this thanks

hi, Alex just seen your post, i know it's a bit late in the day to reply and you've probably got used to it now or better luck had it reversed hopefully. just wanted to say i was exactly the same as you when i first had mine done and it was none reversible, i was 40 at the time and i was just glad i was going to live i had 3 youngish wonderful children who i wanted to seed grow into wonderful human beings which thank God they all have and I'm walking one of my daughters down the aisle next year, anyway back to the point. i hated it but as time goes by you get used to changing it and it just becomes routine and i found it quicker than when i went normally lol now i don't even think about it. it's just every day routine. over time you'll get to know what you can or can't eat and eventually everything settles down, hope this as helped Alex stay safe and all the best Geoff.

I'm with you-- each day is a horror! My husband dyed from cancer and shortly after this happened to me. I wish I would have just let it go and died but I had no will and a lot of money I wanted to go to my love ones--- the only reason besides facing a horrible death. No sex, major stress while at work and yes it burst open in public. I never go out with friends or do anything. Once I figure a way to find the off switch and the strength, I'm gone and happily so--- this is a very depressing post I know but you tell me--- Do I have a life worth living?

Hi my name is jayne I have not had cancer but crohns disease. I've had my ileostomy for 45 years life does go on with a ileostomy or colostomy  how long have you had yours and have you been in touch with a stoma nurse regards jayne good luck