hi I have just found myself in your position 

I am a carer and the person I care and look after  as had pains in his left-hand ribs for over a year  been to doctors, walk-in clinics A&E and with him having autism and can't communicate  just given painkillers 

he lost weight complaining in his way (it hurt) and pointing to the area just under his left rib  was falling asleep all the time hot sweats at night and in the morning in so much pain he could not get out of bed 

he was referred to Colorectal for the weight loss  had three ultra scans over  say two months  then i was told there nothing wrong down there and the surgeon would discharge him  and said seek a medical doctor for the pain in the left-hand side of ribs  but this pain had gone to his shoulders, arms, buttocks  and right-hand side under ribs  and advised to go back to his doctor   

one weekend it got so bad he was rushed into A&E again and after the 5-hour wait we were told sorry we can't do anything  said we are not moving till something is done  he went away and spoke to registrar came back and said they would give him a utrascan  results of that was everything was ok  and to go back to doctor in morning  said no we are staying until something is done he went away again came back and asked would he be ok if they did an x-ray on him

I said let's try (he is Autistic with needle phobia and white coat syndrome)

did x-ray found fluid  and consolidation on his lung  it was decided he would need to give blood and have a ct scan but it can't be done in A&E but will have to go through the GP about six weeks later  after several meeting (capacity and best interest ) it was decided that it would be done under local anesthetic they did blood's and the ct scan   we went home 

came back the following day  to be told 

results were a PSA level of over >20,000 and multiple  bone secondaries and retroperitoneal Lymphhadenopathy 

he has started  on Bicalutamide for 28 days  they started him on this drug right away  he has been on it three days and what an improvement ( fingers crossed) it may be he having his good days and it comes back but here hoping it will  shrink the cancer and  give him  a few more years 

 he has to go for a bone scan in a couple of weeks time 

but feel so let down with the way this person who has learning difficulties has been treated 

sorry for the spelling and grammar 

Hi kennybee 

I’m very sorry to hear this, my heart goes out to your friend. This is too familiar with our situation my husband has been seeing physiotherapist for his shoulder back etc for years. He even passed blood within his pee and they just gave him antibiotics and sent him away. 

Theyve told us that it’s not curable and everything they do will be to slow the cancer etc but they seem to close down every time we ask too many questions. I know they can’t tell you everything you want to know but I feel a little shocked at how little they do tell you. 

I was given a form the other day (ds1500) to help support use getting help with financial issues (they have stated he cannot return to work) but it said on the form the the chemo and radio therapy is palliative! Is this what they call it for slowing the process? It’s all left me with too many questions flying around my head. 

Perhaps I’m looking for too many answers. It’s ripped our life apart 

I'm not a doctor. However I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2010, and I did a lot of researh at that time. I was lucky that my cancer was caught early and I'm still here to tell the tale.

Most cancers, including prostate, are ranked into four stages, T1-T4.  Early stage cancer, stages T1 and T2, is confined within the prostate and is nearly always curable. I was lucky in that my cancer was stage 2.  Once cancer has escaped but is still within the local area of the prostate it becomes stage T3. This can often be cured, but not always.  When the cancer has spread to other organs, it becomes stage T4 (also called "metastatic"). Such cancer can be controlled for years using combinations of hormone and other therapies, but (to the best of my knowledge) cannot yet be cured. 

However, great strides are being made in all forms of cancer research. There is a lot of hope that immunotherapy will become a massive game changer, and new drugs are being developed all the time. 

BTW, don't mix up the cancer stages with the Gleeson grades. Gleeson grades are an indication of how normal or abnormal the cells look under the microscope, with the highest number (5) given to cells that look the most abnormal. The Gleeson grading system requires the pathologist to give grades to the most commonly appearing cells, and then then the next most commonly appearing cells, and write these as two numbers linked by a plus sign, eg. 5+4, with the most common cells put before the plus.  If there aren't enough of the second type of cell then the same number is repeated, eg 5+5.  Sometimes the two numbers are added together, but this information is less useful than knowing the two individual numbers. 

It might be worthwhile looking at the Prostate Cancer UK website, and joining in their online forum

Hi s7ac3y mine isn't advanced as your husbands but it might give you a better idea, mine is prostate, gone to lymph nodes, spine, ribs, pelvis and a lung stage 4 gleason 8 psa 1581, was diagnosed Feb 2016 been on hormone therapy since, and cemotheropy now and again. Like your husband it's not curable but treatable, hope things improve for you. Best wishes.. Billy