Hi there from another fellow ticking time bomb ...

Well those early days are really scary ... all us rollercoaster cancer buddies will probly tell you the same ..it's o.k to feel scared ... that's quite normal ... but there's loads of us Brest lasses on here ... all different stages, and treatments ... but the one thing we got in common is all trying to kick cancers *** ..

I had a grade 3 her 2 neg, oestrogen positive lump ... thought my time was up .. like you started looking into every sinario .. till my daughter in law said .. right you have cancer, and we'll take every problem , diagnosis, as and when it pops up ... no more "what ifs" no more panic .. and we will do this together .. 

Well that was the best advice ever ... I'd cried all the tears... got all these feelings out.. then got my boxing gloves out .. put them on, got into the boxing ring with cancer ... looked it in the eye .. and thought "bring it on" l may not win this fight but I'll kick it's *** all the way down this journey we find our selfs on .

Cancer wants us to crumble, cry lay down and stay there ... well yes it can make us bend but we won't brake .. I'm 13 months post mastectomy and doing well .. but if it knocks my door again , I'll get them gloves out, and even if it does win, my last gesture will be sticking two fingers up to cancer ..

I know your on this rollercoaster with us now , it is the scariest one you'll go on .. but when it feels overwhelming just look round, wer all there with you .. there's lots of us on here, and I'm sure those boxing gloves and attitude help us through .. we all know how you feel, we've been there .. but hang on tight .. breast cancer has come along way ... you don't realise how strong you are, till you have no choice .. then you look back and say, did I really do that ... sending you a big hug ... p.s the op was the easiest part ... l had a total mastectomy..  was a little sore but only needed paracetamol. .

Thanks Chriss

you are absolutely right and your daughter in law talks good sense. I’ve had time to calm down a bit, spent the day yesterday at a lovely craft show at an RHS Hyde Hall garden. This took my mind off things and brought home the fact that although it feels like an age, it is actually only 3 days since I got the news that it is cancer. I won’t know if it is lobular and HER2 until Wednesday, and if lobular then an MRI scan follows to see if it has reached the lymph nodes. One step at a time. 

I hope you are healing well from surgery. I have read that after mastectomy you seldom need radiotherapy or chemo. Is this the case for you? Whichever, best wishes for a full recovery and thanks for taking the time to write such an inspirational and sensible reply. I think I’ll refer back to that if ever I go into panic mode again.

thanks for being there

Hi gadgetgal

i had 2 lumps one ductal and one lobular ( same breast) no symptoms for either lump -  found on routine mammogram. I had mri came back as not in other breast. Had lumpectomy ( clear margins and lymph nodes) followed by 15 sessions of Radiotherapy. 

Its early days for you bless so you will b up nd down with your mind racing.... this is normal. I was the same then couple of days after diagnosis I reigned myself in nd thought all the angst in the world ain’t gonna change a thing. So just as Chrissie says I took the advice on here and started taking things one day at a time...it helped.

you are so doing the right thing ... keeping busy and doing things you enjoy. When the time is here you can look this in the eye nd stare it down... you are stronger than you think.

everyone of course is different but for me. The op was no where near as big a deal as I had made it out to b in my head - post op I had 2 paracetamol nd was at shops nd pub for lunch the next day. During and after radiotherapy I felt... fine. No tiredness no sore boob ( it just looked ... tanned brown). From diagnosis to last day of treatment for me was 13 wks 2 days. Most of which was waiting for appointments, op, radiotherapy. For most the waiting is the worst. 

Deep breaths lass you will get there. Sending you hugs nd remember you are not alone ... we are here if u want or need us x ️X

Hi and really good to hear your keeping busy ... when I first came on here a wonderfull lady helped me through .. jolomine ... she's had a double mastectomy and has been helping others on here ever since..

my untie got breast cancer a couple of months after me .. both right side both grade 3 ... because my lump came back "low risk" and lymph node clear, I didn't need chemo and I refused radiotherapy because of my bones being really weak for last 10 years .. but I am taking tamoxifen for however long ... 

My untie also didn't need chemo but she did have radiotherapy like Sandra123 .. and she didn't loose her hair and just felt a little more tired .. and she's on a tablet like tamoxifen too ... but here we both are , one year later and if you saw us together laughing and swapping stories, you'd never think we'd both he'd grade 3's lumps ... 

It's deffinatly not a walk in the park, but ridding the waves, being ready for the bumps .. and letting yourself have bad days is all good .. it's not about getting knocked down, it's about getting up again after ..  I've kept my sense of humour through it all .. and I'm fine with having one boob and a scar ... it's a small price to pay for getting more time with my granddaughter Emily. . 

But remember everyone is different and no two stories the same ... but we'll be here if you need us ... we don't guess what its like, we've been there ... and like Sandra says, you can do this .. you've already got those boxing gloves ready, a ... take care ... Chrissie

Hi Gadetgal,

You are at one of the worst stages of your cancer journey. Not knowing exactly what you are dealing with is always difficult. You should feel a little better once you know more on Wednesday.

I have had 2 bouts of cancer. I had a lumpectomy followed by Tamoxifen the first time and a double mastectomy followed by Letrozole the following year. I was advised to have radiotherapy after the first operation, but , due to procedural errors, this never happened. After my mastectomies I was told that I didn't need radiotherapy or chemotherapy. I took Letrozole for 6 years and finished taking that in July 2017.

Growth rates vary from person to person and from one kind of breast cancer to another, so there is no way that any of us can predict what rate yours is growing at. However, it is good news that your tumour is oestrogen receptive.Here's hoping that you get further good news on Wednesday.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thanks, all of you, for your kind words, and for your personal stories. That really helps and it is nice to have some actual experiences, rather than just the statistics, wich are just that, statistics. I think it was the phone call on Friday telling me that they were booking the MRI in 'just in case' it was lobular even though they didn't have the results back yet which threw me. Until then, I assumed I would be one of the 8 in 10 who have ductal but something in the way the nurse phrased it rang alarm bells. Amazing how the unexpected can throw you when you think you're all prepared. 

I would not be at all surprised now if it were lobular. It seems that this is more common in people diagnosed in my age group (i just passed 60) and there other characteristics such as typically not forming a distinct lump so being harder to detect through examination, fit my symptoms. 

As you all advise though, I'm not going to worry about all the eventualities but take each piece of news as it comes. I like to be prepared so I can understand what they say, so I have done some reading. Also I've taken to playing 'Pocket Frogs' on my iPad so when I start to feel that feeling of panic if I've been thinking about it for too long I whip out my iPad and start breeding frogs. Inane, but the sounds of their little slappy feet is very calming and the focus it takes to breed them to produce pretty colours is enough to stop my mind racing. Or I try to go outside to garden or look after the animals. Fresh air helps.

Only a couple of days to go before I know for sure, but then it will be something else to worry about, I suspect it always is....and I can feel my mind starting to think on the worst scenarios. But I will focus on the now and deal with the future news, whatever it is, when it comes.

I applied for early retirement back in June. Employer offering employee led voluntary severance at twice govt minimum. No decision made yet on my application, and I just wanted it at the time to have the option of taking it. However in the light of the diagnosis, I'm pretty certain I'll take it offered. I'm going to let them know about the cancer diagnosis next week, so I'm fairly sure i'll get it offered.

I'm going to see if they can waive the pension reduction for early retirement - given that when I started working I was due to retire at 60 anyway.

Thanks Sandra123. Hanging on in there :)

Brill hope all goes well nd you get out with the max :-)

A lot of people ( most younger than I am - 61 ) seem t have struggled with recuperation more than me ... could b wrong but I think a lot is to do with not having work hanging over your head. I love being retired... u go for it lass. Love when I meet up with ex work colleagues to hear all the rubbish “office politics “ that’s been going on nd smile that I no longer have t put up with it lol. All this can b yours ;-) x

Hi GadgetGal,

Sorry you're still at the worst stage, the waiting.

I wonder if this page might help you  https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/breast-cancer/stages-types-grades/types/invasive-lobular-breast-cancer

Totally get why you are scared but don't worry, you are not a ticking timebomb.  If the wait made a difference they would see you sooner.  When you think about the speed of cells dividing you have to remember just how tiny those cells are, you have millions of them even in the tiniest lump.

Although less common than ductal, lobular is still very common so treatment will be well know and tested.

Also, if it helps at all I found this comment on the webpage of a canadian oncologist (he has a page to try and explain cancer in terms people understand, I won't link it though as I haven't verified him as such).  He says "The overall breast cancer survival rates for infiltrating lobular carcinoma, when matched by stage, are a little higher than for ductal carcinoma for the first 5 years."

They are just being sensible booking you in for an MRI.  I had one because my ductal crcinoma was alreayd in the lymph nodes so that meant having to have an MRI to see if it had spread further than that, it hadn't!  It's good that they are doing the MRI but it doesn't mean it has spread, it's their way of checking.

I know it's hard but try to distract yourself, not too long to wait now.

Will be thinking of you.

LJx