Hi Krang,  I just read your post, I'm waiting for a diagnosis.  I'm so sorry to hear your news.  I'm sure someone on here will be able to give you guidance.  

Have you been in contact with the Mcmillian nurses?  

Here if you need to talk x

Kernow200

Hi, this is so difficult for you and we are not experts in cancer so advice about the diagnosis for you is difficult.   We were told from day one, no operation,  incurable, but she would fight for us if we wanted to.  So worst case scenario at age 70 but after chemo and radiotherapy,  eighteen months later we have a better life expectancy than was initially given.  Having an Oncologist who is despairing before you even have treatment is not good.  Why don't you stick with her/him to get the ball rolling.  To be perfectly frank the Oncologist is not the one you will see regularly it will be the chemo unit, then radiotherapy if offered.  Only in between treatments will you have a check up with them.  So ignore the bed side manner,  it's not improving your situation,  fight for yourself and your children and everyone will do their best to get you to where you want to be.  I hope this helps however if you want to post your thoughts again, someone will always come along and help.  Good luck and fight your corner.   Carol 

Hi Krang,

Really sorry to hear about your diagnosis, your head must be spinning from all this.

Given that you already have secondary tumours my thinking (from what happened with me) is that chemo would always be the first line of approach.  Operating doesn't stop the spread obviously so it would come later.  Is it possible that the doctor just hasn't given you the full picture as per what will happen after your chemo?  Or did she actually say they wouldn't ever be operating?

It might be worth asking why it would delay treatment?  With the spread already having happened I couldn't see someone wanting to operate before doing chemo (but I'm not a doctor obviously), so why couldn't you start the chemo while seeking a second opinion?

Sorry, just my rambling thoughts on it.  But if in doubt I would advise asking more questions to get a clearer picture, and given the age of your kids I would definitely be fighting to live as long as possible.

Best wishes,

LJx

Hello 

thanks for the reply 

i did start chemo but thankfully I’m under a different oncologist who has a more balanced view, I’ve had 6 sessions of chemo and because thankfully everything has shrunk by a lot my oncologist has said I’ve responded far better than anyone expected ( clearly!) so I’m having 2 extra treatments. 

Im hoping then that if everything shrinks more I can try and push for a operation.

best wishes 

So glad you've got a new oncologist who is being a bit more hopeful.  Also, your response to the treatment sounds fantastic so hopefully that will swing your situation in favour of an operation.

I did give it some more thought as the only reason I could see for them refusing surgery was if it would potentially shorten your life rather than extend it.  So I wondered if they were just worried that in the operation recovery period you end up with another secondary somewhere.  Chemotherapy to treat that secondary would have to be delayed until you were healed from surgery.  Anyway, I was just pondering, but thankfully you'll be able to ask this new oncologist and, even if they still refuse, you might get a clearer answer as to why.

Good luck, I hope things keep going in the right direction.

LJx