Hi Suzie,

Welcome on to the board, sorry about your diagnosis though :(

As Chriss says, there's an abundance of us breast cancer girls on here.  I'm one of the newest and I've found advice from folk like Chriss utterly invaluable.  And while my mum has had breast cancer twice it's really comforting talking to people going through it at the same time you are.

Are they doing genetic testing of you and your son?  If none of the generation below you (her mum or aunts in particular) have had breast cancer then thankfully it may just be coincidence that you and her maternal grandmother have both had it and it might not increase her risk.  Still, even if her risk is increased there are things she can do to minimise the risk and she can also get screened earlier to ensure any cancer is caught early.

The screening is particularly important as I have been fighting for 10 years to start early screening (my mum first had breast cancer at 39).  They kept saying they were referring me but I heard nothing.  We were always told we were not at any increased risk but this idea failed to take into account that we have very few women in our family.  My mum is the ONLY woman in her generation (both mum and dad just have brothers) and the generation before her only had my maternal and paternal grandmother (they had just brothers too). My paternal grandmother died relatively young from breast cancer. So 2 of the 3 blood relative females in the generations before us had breast cancer young, kind of suggests genetics!!!

Anyway, last time I was at the GP for something else I had been having a bad feeling that week that something wasn't right and decided I wasn't leaving the GP surgery without a referral for early screening being made and accepted.  Thank God I did as two weeks later I was at the breast clinic and two days after that I was told I had stage 3 breast cancer.  I am finally being genetically screened for BRCA1, BRCA2, PAL-B and CHEK2, mainly for my own future treatment options and the chances of my identical twin and older sister getting it, as I only have a blood nephew, my nieces are thankfully adopted and won't be affected.

You might find that you cope better with it than your loved ones, that's not unusual, I think in part this is because we can have some 'control' over our situation (planning for looking after yourself etc.)

I'm one week away from cycle 3 of chemo.  I have lost my hair (mine went very quickly) but I have a fantastic wig that friends I see regularly haven't even realised is a wig :D  However I have had no other side effects, no throwing up, no nausea, and I look incredibly healthy.  But I should add that I am being a 'perfect patient'.  I am finding myself only wanting really healthy, light food (3 small meals a day and the odd snack) and I tend not to want to drink much other than a few litres of water a day (and the odd prosecco if I'm celebrating something).

I need to go for a sleep now, but as and when you're at the point where you want advice (just and FYI there are things you can start doing to help yourself before any treatment commences) or if you just want moral support, post away and people will help you.

LJx