Hi.

Ive never met my dad. My Grandad took my fathers role in my life and has been a huge influence to me and has been my best friend. There’s been a few issues through our family, a couple of years ago we discovered that my Grandad was having an affair. I decided to stay in contact with him, despite what the rest of my family thought - who cut all contact with him.

Recently he just broke the news to me that he’s suffering from prostate cancer that has advanced into his hip bone. He reassured me that it’s treatable and that he’s on hormone tablets, morphine and looking into radiation and hip surgery. My mum and my granny are devastated and have decided they want to see him to make amends. Therefore he’s been speaking to them again.. my mum tells me different stories to what he does. She says that it isn’t curable and that he’s not being honest with me and is just trying to protect me and doesn’t want me hurt. But whenever I ask him about it he just continues to tell me the same story. I don’t know what to believe - and it saddens me further that he could be hiding this from me.

 I love him so much and this is really affecting me, I don’t know how to even think about life without him. I’m only 18, I feel so under pressure to get married and have a children so he doesn’t miss out. (Ive always said I want him to walk me down the isle). It feels like nobody understands how I feel, I’ve been the only one of the family to speak to him for these past few years and maintain the closeness we always had. My friends try and support me as much as they can but they never really know what to say. I just want someone who knows what I’m going through (which is a long shot due to all these circumstances). 

Thank you