Hi Dizzidancer. Welcome to the forum that no one ever really wants to join.

My thoughts are with you at this worrying time.  

Please be aware that we're not doctors here, and I have NO medical qualifications. I happened to come through prostate cancer myself some years back, and I've had a few scares since.

Since you ask, a stage 3A melanoma has spread microscopically to up to three adjacent lymph nodes, but it has not spread more generally. The appropriate treatment is surgery to remove a wide area around the location of the tumour, and removal of the affected lymph nodes. You may also be offered radiotherapy and other forms of treatment, but I can't say for certain whether you will or not. 

There's no easy way to say this: stage 3 is serious, but stage 3A is the least serious with the best chance of recovery.  However, you will need to be monitored well into the future, and of course this will mean that you get constant worrying reminders. That is the lot of the cancer patient and the worry never completely goes away.  I have a PSA test coming up next month, and although I've been clear for 7 years, I feel it beginning to nag on my mind even now. 

Waiting for treatment and results is agony. I found acupuncture treatment from a Chinese doctor to be very helpful, but I had to pay privately.  There are also any number of relaxation and mindfulness videos on YouTube.  I sincerely suggest you don't use Google as it will only increase your stress; most of us old hands here have frightened ourselves silly at some time.

Thank you so much for taking the time to message.  I’ve already battled a pituitary brain tumour and although it was benign I still had all the same feelings as would be expected but this time it’s really real if you see what I mean? It’s not benign, it could kill me is all I keep thinking and the guilt of putting my husband & kids through it all again. Arrrrggggghh can I stamp my feet and say it’s not fair? 

You have my permission to stamp your feet and say it's not fair. 

I had such a bad day yesterday and a million things going round in my head now.

Operation for my WLE AND SLNB is now booked for the 9th may!! That started me off, as its 3 bloody weeks away and then 3 weeks for results!! Just too long.  Professors secretary has said he only does 3 per week for thr NHS so this is normal NHS times?  

After surviving a brain tumour, Ive been planning a massive party/celebration for my 50th birthday (7.7.18) and now I'm worried I wont be well enough as its only 11 weeks from now and if I need further surgery to remove the lymph nodes that will *** it right up.I know I should prioritise but its not that easy! 

I teach in a primary school and yesterday afternoon was asked to cover a class.  Guess what they asked me to teach? Badgers parting gift!! Its all about loss and bereavement - so I ended up with a class full of crying kids by the end of it, "my pet snake died, my nan died etc etc. So there I am in front of 30 kids holding it all in telling them we have to find the happiness they brought us in our memories etc.. and wanting to scream at the same time!!  Just no thought from the school about my wellbeing.

We then have a massive outbreak of slap cheek (9 children in my class so far since before easter and now 3 more today) .  

I then heard Dale Winton died (tipped me right over the edge that did)! 

Im seriously considering going off sick for the next three weeks to protect myself until my op, as im now terrified that if I catch any germs, my op wont go ahead. What do you all think on here?  Shall I? 

Will I sit at home alone worrying though?

I feel so alone at the moment and feel its now starting to hit home

Speak to your GP and ask about being signed off until surgery. 

The sun is shining, im alive. That is all x

The sun is shining, im alive. That is all x

You are alive and still fighting, that’s not all!

Dizzidancer

My sympathy to you having to go through this torture a second time.  Once is bad enough for me.

I seem to be at a similar stage to you. I have a 3c melanoma without source, diagnosis confirmed on Friday.
I was told that I won't die, at least not straight away but be careful crossing the road.

It's an awful long time to wait for results.  I just had to wait a week after biopsies then another two weeks with a full scan for a confirmation and that was bad enough. Frantic dreams loss of appetite etc.

After surgery and possibly a therapy, we will both be living with the possibility of the melanoma returning but I personally feel that I am in the system now and I will be given regular 6 monthly scans and checkups. Maybe I'm wrong but I think I am in a better position than the regular public for skin cancer checks.

I have found that the worst aspect of having a cancer is the worry for nearest and dearest.  They want to swaddle me and worry about me.  It is really kind of them but I wish I could save them from this.

If you do eventually need lymph gland removal I have been told to expect up to a week in hospital.  Maybe leave the party until you can enjoy it fully and then have a double celebration.

Best wishes
David

Thanks for your kind replies and im just sorry that we are all here!  I think im still at the angry stage and my phrase of choice at the moment is "for f...... sake, not again!!" 

I could keep lots of this from my children last time and only told them what I thought they should know.  This time, no chance! My daughter insisted she came with us to the diagnosis appointment.  They are all adults but I feel such guilt at them having to go through this too, its heartbreaking.  They are all dealing with it very differently.  My husband is my rock, always has been, always will but even he has gone very quiet.  

Im going to see my GP  (if I can get an appointment) in the morning and see what he says as Im not sleeping, Im so stressed that I might catch something and the surgery is then delayed, as apparently the surgeon only does three a week!! 

Sorry for ranting but I feel I can offload here :)

Rant away, you can’t bottle this up!

Hi Dizzidancer.

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis and yes it is incredibly unfair. I guess I wanted to post here because I'm still here 6 years post melanoma and so I'm living proof that you can beat this! In fact it gave me a real perspective on life and has made me realise some of my greatest ambitions. Weird I know but I hope you'll feel the same one day too.

I know how awful it is waiting for operations and results. What I will say is that I was told that I'd have to wait 6 weeks post WLE to find out if it had spread but in the end it was more like 2-3 weeks. I couldn't wait the full time and called my skin cancer nurse who then called the hospital and I got my results that way. I assume that you have a specialist nurse who you can talk to? Mine was a real lifeline and the easiest person to talk to about my worries. I felt that I didn't want to burden my family either so if you ever want to talk/unburden here then feel free :).

Have you made a decision about being signed off? I hope you're feeling slightly less stressed and have veen able to sleep.

GP has signed me off so at least that stress is gone and now I can ‘Maybe’ Get my head together.  I just can’t shift this bad feeling I have this time :(

thanks for being there and listening I do appreciate it.  It’s good to be able to ramble on to others who are sadly here with me

xx

Hi

Sorry  to hear about what you are going through. I’m a retired primary school teacher diagnosed with endometrial cancer on Friday 13th, yes Friday 13 th of April. I had my MRI on 19th April and will go tomorrow to find out results and plan. I waited three weeks for my biopsy results so we are now into week 5. I’m tearing my hair out one minute and calm the next. Strangely I wish I was back at work because I know then I wouldn’t have time to dwell on things. The waiting is awful for everyone but the way we deal with it is so different. I too didn’t want to worry my family but I knew they would be more cross if I didn’t allow them to support me even though I know they’re scared too.

So rant away. There are always people on here who will listen and know what you are going through. They have been a great support to me all through this.

Come on, we are teachers. Stress is our daily bread and butter. We can do this. If you can teach a class of thirty children and survive then you can do this. That’s what I tell myself. But when that is not entirely successful then I talk to people here.

Stay strong.

Just thought I'd call in again because my granddaughter has just come in with slapcheek confirmed. It made me think of you.

I may go for surgery in a couple of weeks and we seem to be on a similar timescale so far so I'll keep comparing notes if we can ramble along.

David

Oh blimey David!!  Apparently though it’s contagious before they get the blooming rash so you don’t even know they’ve got until the rash appears.

apparently spread by coughing & sneezing so working in a school it just kept going round & round.

we have 28 in our class & there were 10 cases before the Easter holidays and another 3 confirmed since we came back! 

Yes I’ve got a Macmillan skin cancer specialist nurse & I know it sounds silly, but I feel like I don’t want to ‘bother’ her with silly questions.  I know it’s what they’re there for but it’s just me.

im glad to get a positive grip on things too

thanks