Hi kath .. right place to have a vent ... we know just where your comming from ... but having no sleep is probably adding to your situation ... i was so scared before my mastectomy. . Turned out it went fine .. even with a few hiccups along the way ... it's the thought of the unknown that scares us more ..

But not long now so hold on in there ... just picture your self in the ring with your boxing gloves on, ready to knock out that cancer ... I've got my pair ready and waiting for when it tries to knock me down .. we may or may not beat it, but giving the cancer a run for its money is what gets me through ... 

And I know what you mean about being strong .. but think even the strongest of us have a melt down .. I've had a couple ... but then I put those gloves back on and get ready for the next round ..

You don't know how strong you can be, till your backs against the wall .. you can stay there or come out ready to take him on again ... look around, wer all there with you .. to gether well knock it right down this path we find ourselves on  ... big hug Chrissie xx

Hi Chrissie, 

thank you for your lovely reply, I am more than ready to put up a fight with this awful disease, I feel much better this evening, friends have been popping in and ringing wishing me well, things I will never take for granted ever again! 

I’m glad I stumbled across this forum, it’s nice to know I’m not alone on this journey and wish you all the very best in your fight! X 

Hi Cath39.

I'm not sure if you've had a general anaesthetic recently. I had a throat endoscopy with biopsies under general anaesthetic a few weeks back. The anaesthetics today are so good that it's almost like time jumps between the anaesthetist giving you the jollop and you're suddenly transported to the recovery room. They give you anti sickness drugs while you're still asleep, so you're not sick when you wake up.  I was a little groggy for a few minutes, but by the time they'd given me a cup of tea and some biscuits I was pretty much myself again. Tell them if you're in pain and they'll put something in your IV. My recovery nurse was a treasure: she made me several cups of tea, and plied me with lots of biscuits and even a yogurt. 

Hi thanks for the heads up, it’s been a few years since I had anaesthetic, looking forward to a sleep now, constant pain is causing me many sleepless nights, I shall look forward to my cuppa! 

Cath x

Good luck Cath, let us know how you get on, rooting for you 

Julia x