Hi there ... this is a great place to put your feelings / worries down as just writing it down sometimes helps ... it sounds good your dad is staying positive as that will help him through ... although there will probably be times he will have a low day too ... we try to protect the ones closest to us as we don't want to worry them , which sometimes makes them worry mor ... if that makes sense ..

i found talking honestly to my closest family really helped .. we talked / cryed hugged and sometimes laughed to ... but men often find that hard as they've been the strong ones it makes it hard to open up ... 

id just hold his hand and tell him no matter what or how or when he wants to talk , you'll be there waiting ... the thing that helped me was they said they would all support me in my decisions and it gave me back control over my cancer journey.... there's no advice that suits every one ... so go with your gut feelings ... all emotions are normal and we all go through them on some days ... big hug to you all regards Chrisie X

Hi,

Many of us can empathise with how you're feeling, sometimes you cannot say anything without upsetting or annoying someone recently diagnosed with cancer. None of us want to be pitied or patronised, we want people to be positive AND realistic. Maybe your Dad is in denial to some degree, but if that is his way of coping with an intolerable situations you should accept that. Your Dad will somehow muddle through this, he doesn't really have a choice, but he may feel under pressure to appear positive if only to stop your brother going over the edge. 

Have you told your boss how you are feeling? They may be able to make some adjustments to help you through this without leaving your job. Everyone has crises in their life from time to time and a good employer will recognise this and do their best to retain their workforce. From a commercial point of view this makes sense as it costs me nearly to recruit and train up new staff!

I hope things work out for you and your family.

Dave

Hi Chris

Can I just say what at wondeful, supportive and kind response you've written to Ach11. It has helped me think about things differently as I support my husband who is just starting his treatment for oesphageal cancer. Thank you

Ruth x

Hi Ruth ... thank you so much ... it's always worrying how to put things down to help people along this journey we find ourselves on ... and it makes us realise wer not on our own ... so even sending each other a vertual hug helps , I think ... 

just hold on to each other as its a bumpy ride ... highs and lows ... but having someone at your side is priceless...  so hang on in there ... use the helplines if you want a human voice who has been through their own journey too ... McMillan free phone helped me ... and they will chat to anyone who cares too .. so never sit there thinking your on your own ... this site has help too the nurses and help line are amazing when we feel a little confused by gargon .. sending you and hubby a big hug ... Chrisie xx