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My hubby has throat cancer

Gail.f
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Hi, 

On Thursday 27/04/17 my hubby and I had the rug pulled from under us when he was told that he had metastatic cancer in the lymph nodes of his neck. 

I'd noticed a slight swelling on the side of his neck back in January but as he had man flu at the time we put it down to a swollen gland, over the next few months it just kept getting bigger but I couldn't convince him to go to the doc (the big feerty), others started noticing the lump which was now about the size of an egg so he gave in and saw the doc who then sent of a request for an ultrasound biopsy. He had the biopsy on the 3rd of March and we put it to the back if our minds. On April 10thi was at the GP and just happened to ask if the biopsy results for Paul had came back, nope, no results, but about 10days later an appointment came through for him to attend the ENT clinic at our local hospital on 27th April, we went into the appointment on the premise that "no news is good news" boy were we wrong. My hubby has throat cancer that's spread to his lymph nodes, he's going in on Wednesday morning to have exploratory surgery to look for the primary site of the cancer, he'll also have a scan to check to see if its travelled elsewhere. It'll then take a week or so for the doc to gather all the relevant info and make a plan. 

Sorry for the long winded explanation but I think putting it all down on paper (virtual) has actually helped me. 

Gailx

 

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    Hi there Gail

    And so sorry you like many of us find yourself here - in the club no-one wants to join. We like you had our world turned upside down in december 2015 when having visited the GP with what seemed an inoquous swollen gland in my husbands neck percipitated referral to the fast track head and neck cancer service. After a fine needle biopsy SCC was confirmed - metastatic in his neck lymph nodes and we started our cancer journey. His primary was found in his tonsils which were removed and we then started on the road to treatment. 

    i have to say that this bit is the worst - the waiting to find where the primary is,the waiting for the treatment plan ,the waiting to start treatment so hang in there. It can seem like an eternity and I know that I kept thinking "he's got cancer surely things should be happening quicker" but in hindsight the waiting gave us a little time to process the diagnosis and what was happening. As Vatch says this affects everyone in the family in different ways and I found myself needing to talk about what was happening but I know others dont find it that easy. 

    Just to say if you need to talk to another wife who has been there - (my husband often says that he feels it was much harder for me because he had support from the medical team and he was so engrossed in trying to get through each day himself that i was often forgotten and was left holding everything together for him and the family) - then feel free to PM me and Im happy to chat.

    Good luck with the surgery and  the treatment plan

    wishing you and youre husband loads of luck and positive thoughts

    Emma

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    Hi there Gail

    And so sorry you like many of us find yourself here - in the club no-one wants to join. We like you had our world turned upside down in december 2015 when having visited the GP with what seemed an inoquous swollen gland in my husbands neck percipitated referral to the fast track head and neck cancer service. After a fine needle biopsy SCC was confirmed - metastatic in his neck lymph nodes and we started our cancer journey. His primary was found in his tonsils which were removed and we then started on the road to treatment. 

    i have to say that this bit is the worst - the waiting to find where the primary is,the waiting for the treatment plan ,the waiting to start treatment so hang in there. It can seem like an eternity and I know that I kept thinking "he's got cancer surely things should be happening quicker" but in hindsight the waiting gave us a little time to process the diagnosis and what was happening. As Vatch says this affects everyone in the family in different ways and I found myself needing to talk about what was happening but I know others dont find it that easy. 

    Just to say if you need to talk to another wife who has been there - (my husband often says that he feels it was much harder for me because he had support from the medical team and he was so engrossed in trying to get through each day himself that i was often forgotten and was left holding everything together for him and the family) - then feel free to PM me and Im happy to chat.

    Good luck with the surgery and  the treatment plan

    wishing you and youre husband loads of luck and positive thoughts

    Emma

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