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Deb

Stardust1
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Hi everyone my mum been n hospital for 12wks had test after test got mri yesterday then I was told its bowel cancer she is 81 but they won't put her through chemo or op as they say she wouldn't make it.As she has kidney and liver problems I cried  when dr told me she also has dementia I was tilt that two days before. I don't know how long mum will be here iv just got over brain tumour. And back to work  I feel like I'm letting her dwn being at wk but I also still feel tired why am u being me doing day to day things why can't u cry what's wrong with me x

  • Welcome to Cancer Chat Stardust.

    I'm so sorry to hear that your mum has been diagnosed with bowel cancer and that she is unable to have chemo or surgery. You're not letting your mum down at all Stardust but if you are feeling this way and are still tired from recovering from your brain tumour would it be possible to get more time off work so you can be with your mum? It may help you both and will allow you to spend time with your mum without having to worry. Also, try not to be too hard on yourself for not crying. There is no right or wrong way to react as everyone reacts to life changing news in different ways.

    Many of our members will understand what you are going through right now having been in similar situations with their parents and loved ones and I'm sure they will post soon to offer their support and share their experiences with you. 

    We are here for you if you need us Stardust.

    Best Wishes, 

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

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    Hello Stardust, I am so sorry about your mum.  I think the reason you can't cry is the shock, also I found with my partner and parents that I felt that if I started crying I would not be able to stop and would be no help to them at all.  

    I agree with Steph, I think in the circumstances and as you are still feeling the effects of your own tumour you should ask for some time off work, or everything will be too much for you - you must take care of your own health as well.

    I hope your mum is at least comfortable in hospital, bless her, and as Steph has said, if you need to talk there is always someone on here to listen.

    Sending a big hug, you sound as though you need one, 

    Hazel x

     

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