Hi, 

so as most of these go, I'm not too sure why I'm writing this on here. I'm hoping that it will make me feel better, and others that are going through a similar thing might be able to help me out.

So last summer I found out that my Aunty has stage 4 lung cancer. At the time, I thought my world was breaking apart. I was angry, so angry at the fact she was in pain. She didn't smoke, rarely drank. It just wasn't fair. Not really knowing much about cancer and thinking the worst, I didn't cope well. I felt like in a way, I'd been given her death sentence and left to just deal with that. Throughout the year there has been ups and downs, but the positive is in a year, her tumors have shrunk to almost a nothingness which feels like the best thing in the world.

Then yesterday it felt like lightning truly struck me twice. I got a phone call from my dad telling me he's got lung cancer too. Let's just leave it as, i really didn't take it very well. I'm struggling to accept the fact it's happened again. In some ways, with my experience with my Aunty, you could say I'm well prepared. But right now the anger keeps building and the tears don't stop coming at random moments. My dad is one of the most important people in my life, and being told he's been given 5 years to live has broken me. I can't live without my dad, not now, not ever, not in five years time!! I know that's selfish, but right now, that's how I feel.

So I guess that's it.