Hi Noidea,

I think the majority of us on here have felt the same as you while waiting for test or the results. The trouble is our minds seem programed to expect the worst type scenario and cause us to worry unnessasarily. Most people try to keep busy as possible to keep their minds busy. Their is one lady who posted on here, she cleans her kicthen to within an inch of its life while others try and find a really good book to read. That feeling of being so alone is pretty universal but trust me, there are some great people on here who will do all they can to help people in your situation not fell so alone. Anytime you feel like talking do write down on here how your feeling for others know all to well whay a horribl time it is.

Pleas let us know how you get on when you can.

Sending best wishes and kind thoughts your way, Brian

Thanks Brian, how do I stop the negative thoughts from taking over?  I just want to sit and I realize that will get me no where.  I feel like I have done something wrong for this to happen.  My health has been my priority and to have this happen just makes me think where the heck did I mess up.  I just need to get the 25 when the scan will be done, It seems like a very long way off even though I know it is not.  The mind works in crazy ways.

Hi noidea

You cant stop the negative thoughts you have to try some posative ones - easier said than done I know.  When I got really down I would start planning my funeral or who I would leave what the really small stuff not the big stuff, I would find that I got so engrosed as to who would have my jewellery, my bike, books, scarfs, handbags etc that I forgot why I was thinking like this.

The other is my mantra - If I worry and everything is fine then I have worried for nothing if its not fine then what has worrying done to help.

I went through the why me phase but then if not me who would I wish it on, also at the time it was during the ebola outbreak and I thought - well could be worse.

You will find your way of getting through this, if you have hobbies concentrate on them.  If you want to talk then do that to family, friends or on here.

Stay sane.

Thanks for the reply.  What you said makes total sense.  Worrying about the outcome of the scan is not going to change it, it will be what is will be.  I have just gotten to a place in my life when I can start making some of my dreams come true and then this hits.  I realize life is not fair and I would not wish this on anyone.  I just have to remember to breath and what will be will be.