Hi, I think most people with cancer just appreciate people contacting them as I've noticed some people are worried to say the wrong thing and then say nothing. I'd say don't be scared and just say I'm sorry to hear about your illness and hope everything is going ok, how are you feeling? Not sure about others but I like people to ask about my treatment so I can explain. And then just try to keep them positive about it all. Hope this helps

I suggest you just say that you've heard about his health problems and you wanted to get in contact and offer any help. 

I wonder what makes you feel that you need to contact him right now - and I dont mean that in a derogatory way.  Have you been diagnosed yourself now or is it just to show concern because you have only just found out about his disease.?

I think if you were not friendly enough to keep in touch anyway after him leaving work or that he did not feel he knew you well enough to share his diagnosis and associated difficulties with you, then he may feel it is pretty strange that you are now getting in touch after several years.  I know I would.

If there is no specific reason for you to contact him then I would keep it that way if I were you - maybe drop him a Xmas card in the future if you feel you should. But as I say - you obviously were only colleagues and not friends anyway and you have not wanted his friendship without his diagnosis - so in his situation I would feel confused by your agenda for contacting me after all this time.

All the best.

Thanks for this - very helpful

Yes - I can see where you are coming from. To answer your question honestly; it is the latter

We were good friends when he worked at our company (only 3 years ago). His wife still does work here and I occasionally catch up via her. I've not seen her for a while though, as she is understandably with her husband right now

I knew him really well when I was working with him, and I suppose I just want to reach out now & offer support. I know others have, and they are in the same situation as me

I'll sleep on it - thanks for your reply & taking the time